My life right now is a lot like having a three month old in the house who can walk. He can't communicate his needs, which means he cries a lot. He isn't feeling very well and is having some sleeping issues, which means Tim and I aren't sleeping much. Add to that that he wants to be held all of the time, and when he is not he is following me around the house. That is my life.
(Which means there is not a lot of down time right now for writing. Don't be surprised if this lacks coherence. I may have to hit Publish without proofreading.)
Thankfully I have a lot of gracious friends and relatives who are helping lots with the big kids. They have already been on more trips and adventures this summer than I could count on one hand - church camp, the lake, my aunt's, my uncle Ricky's pool, plus our family vacation to North Carolina with Tim's family. At the moment Kate is at the movies with my mom, and the boys are on an adventure with my dad and Jee in San Diego.
Jack is thankfully taking a nap, but every few minutes he cries in his sleep. I should probably be napping too, considering how little sleep I got last night, but these moments alone are few and far between. I feel the need to hoard them, doing small things that I enjoy rather than the laundry that is waiting for me downstairs.
I also feel the need to attempt to express something about our family dynamics at the moment. (Other than the fact that I keep shipping my kids off.) Jack seems to have decided that Kate NaNa is his buddy. When I am otherwise occupied she helps him go up and down the stairs, she helps him put on his pjs, and she can find his bottle and other beloved comfort items. However, she is not without jealousy. She occasionally drinks out of his bottle herself and wears his bibs.
The boys love him, but they are often loud and in his face. Which means that Jack thinks that he should scream at them anytime they get near him. Which means that they think that he doesn't like them because he is always screaming at them. I have tried to explain the circular logic at work here and how they can change this dynamic. Ben is starting to pick up on how to handle Jack gently. Will (typically The Baby Whisperer) is just mad that Jack doesn't adore him the same way other small children do.
Jack and I are still very much trying to figure each other out. I don't think I have a full grasp of what this transition will eventually look like because I am still smack-dab in the middle of it, desperate for a hot meal and a full eight hours. Someday maybe I will sit down and put the right words to it, but for now this feeble attempt will have to do.
The first month together was the honeymoon period. The second month together was reality hitting him (and us) in the face that this was going to be harder than we thought. We really had to back up and focus on Jack's needs and attachment.
This past month has been a dance where we move two steps forward and one step back. Which thankfully adds up to more steps forward than back, but is still a lot of extra steps. As I said earlier, he wants me to hold him, wants me near him, and seeks me out for comfort. And all of this is very good and necessary work that needs to go on in our relationship. But in the next minute he will refuse to let me help him, throw a toy at me, and then look miserable that I have no idea what he is trying to tell me. Also very normal behavior.
But that doesn't mean that I am not exhausted. I am tired. Unless you are a doctor's office, I have done a terrible job at returning your emails and phone calls. I haven't read a good book or my favorite blogs in weeks because there is no alone time, and I really need to be present with my kids when they are with me anyway, especially in this time when all four of my kids are so very needy of my attention and time.
Tim and I have a friend who likes to say, "Four is a challenge." I used to laugh when he said it, but those are the truest words in my life right now. Learning this new dance of being a family of six is fun and exciting, but I am doing a lot of tripping over my own feet at the moment. Thank you to everyone who is blessing us with the space on the dance floor to work out the moves. I think I will get it eventually.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Appointments, Part 6: Speech
Please forgive my lack of posting. We have been on vacation, and I am still trying to find our new out-of-school norm.
I mentioned earlier that our state's Early Intervention folks had done an evaluation on Jack, and there was one area that he qualified for services: Speech. He has almost caught up in every other area, but his speech is very slow in coming. I get a lot of questions about Jack's speech, so I figured that this would be a good place to answer some basic questions.
Can he speak English?
This one gets an eye roll out of me every time. No, he can't speak English. Most 21 month olds that I know aren't exactly fluent, ya know?
How will you teach him English?
The same way every English-speaking parent teaches their baby English - they talk to him. Children learn to understand new languages amazingly fast. That's why people should learn second or third languages as small children instead of as adults or teenagers. (But wait, that's another rant of mine.)
Can he speak Chinese?
Nope, he can't speak Chinese either. The thing is, he doesn't speak. He babbles. Because of his cleft palate (the big, gaping hole in the roof of his mouth that goes up into his nasal cavity) he cannot produce most consonant sounds. He can't make the puff of air he needs for some sounds. Couple that with the fact that he hasn't been encouraged to babble and play with his sounds. You know how parents copy their baby's sounds and go back and forth being silly? This teaches the child to explore their sounds and to imitate words. But Jack is just now experiencing that. So, he can say, "Ah gah!" and "mamamamamamama," and "Uh-oh!" and "Ow!" That is his current favorite repertoire.
Will he ever learn to talk?
Absolutely. We are starting off with an hour of speech therapy a week. Melissa comes to our house and basically plays with Jack and me. She points out positive things he is doing and models exercises for us to do. For example, this week she wants us to repeat the random noises he makes and get really silly so he will be encouraged to repeat the sounds that we are making. It's actually really fun, and Jack gets crazy giggly.
We are also working on teaching him sign language so that he will be able to start communicating his needs with words instead of tears. Last night in the grocery store he signed milk when we walked past the milk and pizza when we walked past the pizza. And then we both got crazy giggly.
(Have I ever mentioned that a great place to have a conversation with an infant/toddler is in the grocery store? You can get lots of eye and skin contact and teach them tons of new stuff, while entertaining the other shoppers at the same time. Yes, they will stare at you if play peek a boo with your baby while you pick out tomato sauce, but it will also make them smile really big, which most tired shoppers need. Consider it your contribution to making your town a happier place to live:)
So, to sum up, Jack is right where we expect him to be right now. He is exploring sounds. He is trying to imitate us some. He is starting to use signs. He's a smart kid. And he is awesome like that.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft/developmental/IA issues:
- Let the Appointments Begin!
- Appointments, Part 2: Audiology
- Appointments, Part 3: Plastic Surgeons
- Appointments, Part 4: The Dentist
- Appointments, Part 5: Early Intervention
- ENT (and probably more audiology)
- Plastic Surgeons...Again (maybe)
- Surgery
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Appointments, Part 5: Early Intervention
A couple of weeks after we got home from China, I took Jack to see the pediatrician at the International Adoption Clinic at the nearby university hospital. As part of the work-up, an OT came in and did an assessment of Jack.
At the time, she and I talked about how Jack's walking had largely improved since I met him, but how he ran with his arms extended for balance. And how he had recently learned to put rings on the yellow cone, and go up and down stairs holding an adult's hand, but he still lacked a pincer grasp, and he couldn't lean down and pick things up without falling over. At the time, she indicated that if evaluated for Early Intervention that day, he would qualify for both physical and occupational therapy. We discussed how I fully expected him to continue to improve quickly over the coming weeks, but if he didn't continue then I should push for OT services with someone who is also skilled in gross motor development. She gave me some exercises to do, and off we went.
In the meantime, I had been trying to get Jack enrolled in Early Intervention. At first, they qualified him based on his severe hearing loss. Except, after we saw the audiologist we realized that he didn't actually have severe hearing loss, and therefore no longer qualified based on that. And so we had to start over with a thorough evaluation of several different developmental areas. When I filled out the questionnaire, he failed every single area.
Two weeks ago, Ms. Teresa came out to do the evaluation. This was 10 days after the questionnaire. Two weeks after we saw the OT. And he did totally awesome. His walking - while still not developmentally at 21 months - had improved even further, and we have no reason to think it won't continue. His grasp has gone from a full hand grasp to a fingertip grasp. Still no two finger pincer, but it will come.
He did things that I had tried to teach him only days before, but at the time he hadn't figured out. He could put long pegs into the tiny holes on the first try. He could put wooden shapes into the puzzle. He could drive the Little People car. He could sit on a riding toy and push with his legs.
In other words, he is learning even faster than I thought.
But of course, there is one area in which he did qualify for Early Intervention - speech. But that is a post for another day:)
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft/developmental/IA issues:
At the time, she and I talked about how Jack's walking had largely improved since I met him, but how he ran with his arms extended for balance. And how he had recently learned to put rings on the yellow cone, and go up and down stairs holding an adult's hand, but he still lacked a pincer grasp, and he couldn't lean down and pick things up without falling over. At the time, she indicated that if evaluated for Early Intervention that day, he would qualify for both physical and occupational therapy. We discussed how I fully expected him to continue to improve quickly over the coming weeks, but if he didn't continue then I should push for OT services with someone who is also skilled in gross motor development. She gave me some exercises to do, and off we went.
In the meantime, I had been trying to get Jack enrolled in Early Intervention. At first, they qualified him based on his severe hearing loss. Except, after we saw the audiologist we realized that he didn't actually have severe hearing loss, and therefore no longer qualified based on that. And so we had to start over with a thorough evaluation of several different developmental areas. When I filled out the questionnaire, he failed every single area.
Two weeks ago, Ms. Teresa came out to do the evaluation. This was 10 days after the questionnaire. Two weeks after we saw the OT. And he did totally awesome. His walking - while still not developmentally at 21 months - had improved even further, and we have no reason to think it won't continue. His grasp has gone from a full hand grasp to a fingertip grasp. Still no two finger pincer, but it will come.
He did things that I had tried to teach him only days before, but at the time he hadn't figured out. He could put long pegs into the tiny holes on the first try. He could put wooden shapes into the puzzle. He could drive the Little People car. He could sit on a riding toy and push with his legs.
In other words, he is learning even faster than I thought.
But of course, there is one area in which he did qualify for Early Intervention - speech. But that is a post for another day:)
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft/developmental/IA issues:
- Let the Appointments Begin!
- Appointments, Part 2: Audiology
- Appointments, Part 3: Plastic Surgeons
- Appointments, Part 4: The Dentist
- ENT (and probably more audiology)
- Speech (even though this is part of EI, it will get it's own post)
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Appointments, Part 4: The Dentist
(We saw the dentist at the Commission, but he is retiring at the age of 85, and - I kid you not - he miscounted Jack's teeth. The sum total of his advice is always, "Brush your teeth!" Then he hands me a Princess Tiana toothbrush and sends us on our way.)
My kids adore Dr. Wendy - and she is a Commission provider, even though she doesn't come to clinic. She is competent, has excellent bedside manner, and Will always liked how pretty she was. When Jack got into the chair, he wasn't particularly happy, but once I signed to him (have I mentioned we are signing again? Yay!) that we were going to brush his teeth, he lay really still waiting. He let them clean his teeth and even take x-rays. He did so well that the hygienist said she wanted him to teach the 10 year olds to be still in the chair.
We have been concerned with Jack's lack of teeth - he has four on the top (the middle two, and the first two molars) and six on the bottom (the middle four, and the first two molars). Dr. T (the IA doc) was concerned that the top ones might be missing on both sides. But we got good news at the dentist.
Dr. Wendy says that all of his baby teeth are present, but she isn't completely sure of the position of the baby tooth nearest to the cleft. It was a frontal x-ray, and she said it is possible the tooth is far back in the palate, and the plastic surgeon may need to remove it during the palate repair. Or maybe it is where is is supposed to be and will be nothing at all. She could also see the permanent teeth buds growing, in all of their crooked glory. The only one not visible was the one nearest the cleft, which probably isn't there at all. Kate is completely missing this same tooth.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft issues:
Posts (yet to come) about Jack's cleft issues:
- ENT (and probably more audiology)
- Early Intervention (this one might be a doozy)
- Speech (even though this is part of EI, it might get it's own post)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The Honeymoon Period is Over
Sometimes when a child is adopted, everything goes really well. Everyone puts their best foot forward in an effort to please. The parents have an unlimited patience with the child, and the child is agreeable, loveable, and basically angelic. Sometimes this is called the honeymoon period in adoption circles. But as all parents know - whether your kids are adopted or not - this is an unnatural state. At some point, the honeymoon will come to an end.
Reality has set in at our house in the last couple of days.
When we brought Jack home, he was super easy-going. He rarely cried. He freely gave out hugs and kisses to us. He happily went to bed, smiling at us as he fell asleep. He came to us when he needed something. And because all of this was going so well (and because Tim and I have been flat-out exhausted) we got lazy with our attachment parenting. We have let him wander off and grab other people's hands or ask to be picked up. We have let various relatives and close friends give him food while we dealt with other children. And while I cringed a little inside, I was too tired to be firm. And I thought, He is doing so well! Why should we worry when nothing is wrong?
And all the adoptive parents out there are shaking their heads at my naivete. (I'm shaking my head too, for good measure.)
Sunday I decided to take Ben and Will to a movie. Just the three of us. It turned out to be good, quality time, which we sorely needed. But Jack noticed that I was gone. For four hours. I had never done that before.
When I returned I offered to give Jack his bottle while Tim got the others ready for bed. Now, Jack and I have always had a little control battle going on around food. He wants to dictate when, where, what, and how much, but I know that this is a sign of distrust and of potential food issues. And so I have danced around it, offering lots of healthy options whenever he is hungry, and sometimes when he is not hungry. For example, when he sees anyone eating, he demands food right that moment, even if he ate five minutes ago.
So. Jack and his bottle.
I immediately noticed that not only would he not let me hold the bottle for him, he wouldn't even let me touch it. He cries when I do. He refuses to look at me during this interaction and is constantly trying to turn his body so his back is to me. In bed, he clutches the bottle like I am trying to steal it. He hits, pushes, and turns his back on me.
And the whole time I am thinking that this is a full-blown Kate NaNa attachment fit. Some of you haven't been around long enough to know this, but Kate NaNa used to despise me. During the day she liked me fine, but at night she wanted me to leave her completely alone. She oozed distrust and anger. And so I started crawling in bed with her every night. When she hit me, I would kiss her hand. When she screamed at me I would tell her I loved her and would never leave her. When she would push me away I would pick her up and dance with her.
And now it is time to do this with Jack. He, of course, doesn't know what to do with this. He has never had a permanent caregiver. He doesn't understand that no matter what, he is staying in this family.
He hits me, and I kiss his fist. He screams at me, and I say, "I love you." He pushes me, and I refuse to move. Over and over I have to show him that I am not going anywhere. No matter what he throws at me, I will always love him. No matter how much he tries to push me away, I will always be his Mama. I am not going anywhere. I will not leave him. I am here to stay.
On a final note, please forgive me when I ask you not to feed my son, or pick him up, or take his hand. I am teaching him that I am his Mama. That he can trust me to feed him, to comfort him, to keep him safe. And to never, ever leave him. Because I am not going anywhere.
(And a special thanks for some attachment posts I have read recently - RQ, Stephanie and Nancy at NHBO. I just didn't know I would need them so soon!)
Reality has set in at our house in the last couple of days.
When we brought Jack home, he was super easy-going. He rarely cried. He freely gave out hugs and kisses to us. He happily went to bed, smiling at us as he fell asleep. He came to us when he needed something. And because all of this was going so well (and because Tim and I have been flat-out exhausted) we got lazy with our attachment parenting. We have let him wander off and grab other people's hands or ask to be picked up. We have let various relatives and close friends give him food while we dealt with other children. And while I cringed a little inside, I was too tired to be firm. And I thought, He is doing so well! Why should we worry when nothing is wrong?
And all the adoptive parents out there are shaking their heads at my naivete. (I'm shaking my head too, for good measure.)
Sunday I decided to take Ben and Will to a movie. Just the three of us. It turned out to be good, quality time, which we sorely needed. But Jack noticed that I was gone. For four hours. I had never done that before.
When I returned I offered to give Jack his bottle while Tim got the others ready for bed. Now, Jack and I have always had a little control battle going on around food. He wants to dictate when, where, what, and how much, but I know that this is a sign of distrust and of potential food issues. And so I have danced around it, offering lots of healthy options whenever he is hungry, and sometimes when he is not hungry. For example, when he sees anyone eating, he demands food right that moment, even if he ate five minutes ago.
So. Jack and his bottle.
I immediately noticed that not only would he not let me hold the bottle for him, he wouldn't even let me touch it. He cries when I do. He refuses to look at me during this interaction and is constantly trying to turn his body so his back is to me. In bed, he clutches the bottle like I am trying to steal it. He hits, pushes, and turns his back on me.
And the whole time I am thinking that this is a full-blown Kate NaNa attachment fit. Some of you haven't been around long enough to know this, but Kate NaNa used to despise me. During the day she liked me fine, but at night she wanted me to leave her completely alone. She oozed distrust and anger. And so I started crawling in bed with her every night. When she hit me, I would kiss her hand. When she screamed at me I would tell her I loved her and would never leave her. When she would push me away I would pick her up and dance with her.
And now it is time to do this with Jack. He, of course, doesn't know what to do with this. He has never had a permanent caregiver. He doesn't understand that no matter what, he is staying in this family.
He hits me, and I kiss his fist. He screams at me, and I say, "I love you." He pushes me, and I refuse to move. Over and over I have to show him that I am not going anywhere. No matter what he throws at me, I will always love him. No matter how much he tries to push me away, I will always be his Mama. I am not going anywhere. I will not leave him. I am here to stay.
On a final note, please forgive me when I ask you not to feed my son, or pick him up, or take his hand. I am teaching him that I am his Mama. That he can trust me to feed him, to comfort him, to keep him safe. And to never, ever leave him. Because I am not going anywhere.
(And a special thanks for some attachment posts I have read recently - RQ, Stephanie and Nancy at NHBO. I just didn't know I would need them so soon!)
Monday, May 14, 2012
Happy Mother's Day
Yes, I know this is a day late. I had a beautiful post in my head on
Saturday night - a tribute to all of the mothers in my life and all
that they have done for me. I have especially been missing my Ma-Ma and
my Bunk, and wanted to write about them.
But that didn't happen.
(And you know that when I write a single sentence fragment as a whole paragraph, that I am getting ready to launch into a rant, right?)
Where did we get the idea that Mother's Day is this glorious time where everyone celebrates mom and caters to her every desire? Because that has never happened at my house. Not even a little bit. Never. At my house, my husband (whom I love, but for the purpose of this story is not the hero) gets up and leaves for work on Mother's Day before I have even considered getting out of bed. Because it is Sunday and that is what pastors do on a Sunday. Except, oh yeah, I did get out of bed several times in the wee hours of the morning to help one kid vomit into the toilet after eating too much junk food at a baseball game last night. Oh yeah, and to get another crying child out of his bed and into mine before he woke up three other children. (Although in the husband's defense, he did take the crying child from me so that I could go back to sleep for a little while before I had to get up. Maybe he is the hero of the story. Or at least one of them. Huh.)
Then Mom has to get the children who are neither crying nor vomiting ready for church and there on time (or at least within 30 minutes of said time for church). When the children and husband arrive back home from church, the four smallest of the crew want to sit on Mom's lap at the same time. Which is lovely in sentiment and theory, but is distressing to a mother who wants to avoid two of said children from cold cocking each other.
At which point Mom goes into the kitchen to get some water. And realizes that no one has bothered to clean up one single dish from the lunch that she cooked. On Mother's Day. And so she clears the table, loads the dishwasher, washes the dishes that don't go into the dishwasher, wipes down counters and table, sweeps the floor, and at some point realizes that she needs an escape hatch.
At which point Mom grabs the Kindle, the car keys, and her wallet and leaves.
After cooling off for an hour or so, Mom decides she misses the little boogers and goes back to get the two bigs for a movie date. Mom and her big boys really do enjoy themselves, and this is the one point in the story where true appreciation is shown to Mom. Because she did something she never ever ever does. She let them watch a PG-13 movie. And so naturally the bigs are very appreciative and kind. And Mom can't believe she stooped so low just to get a thank you out of her children.
Upon returning to the nest, the smallest bird has decided that he Does. Not. Like. It. when Mom thinks that she can just up and leave and then she returns and expects everything to be normal. Oh, no. No, he decides he is not happy with Mama for that one. And he spends the next few hours refusing to let her give him a bottle, look her in the eye, or let her put him to bed.
I wish I could say that Mother's Day is typically a really great day for us, but honestly, this story is typical of my Mother's Days. Except we don't usually throw attachment issues in there. That one was a new bonus for Mother's Day.
And now you know why, when Tim asks me what I want for Mother's Day, I tell him I want to crawl in bed.
But that didn't happen.
(And you know that when I write a single sentence fragment as a whole paragraph, that I am getting ready to launch into a rant, right?)
Where did we get the idea that Mother's Day is this glorious time where everyone celebrates mom and caters to her every desire? Because that has never happened at my house. Not even a little bit. Never. At my house, my husband (whom I love, but for the purpose of this story is not the hero) gets up and leaves for work on Mother's Day before I have even considered getting out of bed. Because it is Sunday and that is what pastors do on a Sunday. Except, oh yeah, I did get out of bed several times in the wee hours of the morning to help one kid vomit into the toilet after eating too much junk food at a baseball game last night. Oh yeah, and to get another crying child out of his bed and into mine before he woke up three other children. (Although in the husband's defense, he did take the crying child from me so that I could go back to sleep for a little while before I had to get up. Maybe he is the hero of the story. Or at least one of them. Huh.)
Then Mom has to get the children who are neither crying nor vomiting ready for church and there on time (or at least within 30 minutes of said time for church). When the children and husband arrive back home from church, the four smallest of the crew want to sit on Mom's lap at the same time. Which is lovely in sentiment and theory, but is distressing to a mother who wants to avoid two of said children from cold cocking each other.
At which point Mom goes into the kitchen to get some water. And realizes that no one has bothered to clean up one single dish from the lunch that she cooked. On Mother's Day. And so she clears the table, loads the dishwasher, washes the dishes that don't go into the dishwasher, wipes down counters and table, sweeps the floor, and at some point realizes that she needs an escape hatch.
At which point Mom grabs the Kindle, the car keys, and her wallet and leaves.
After cooling off for an hour or so, Mom decides she misses the little boogers and goes back to get the two bigs for a movie date. Mom and her big boys really do enjoy themselves, and this is the one point in the story where true appreciation is shown to Mom. Because she did something she never ever ever does. She let them watch a PG-13 movie. And so naturally the bigs are very appreciative and kind. And Mom can't believe she stooped so low just to get a thank you out of her children.
Upon returning to the nest, the smallest bird has decided that he Does. Not. Like. It. when Mom thinks that she can just up and leave and then she returns and expects everything to be normal. Oh, no. No, he decides he is not happy with Mama for that one. And he spends the next few hours refusing to let her give him a bottle, look her in the eye, or let her put him to bed.
I wish I could say that Mother's Day is typically a really great day for us, but honestly, this story is typical of my Mother's Days. Except we don't usually throw attachment issues in there. That one was a new bonus for Mother's Day.
And now you know why, when Tim asks me what I want for Mother's Day, I tell him I want to crawl in bed.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Appointments, Part 3: Plastic Surgeons
Ok, back to our visit last week at the Commission's cleft clinic. We have done this more times than we can count with Kate, but for Jack
it was a new experience. (Warning: detailed information for those who care about cleft issues and/or who are local people who have asked about these doctors lately.)
(Skip to the end if you want the short version.)
There are these three brothers in our area who are plastic surgeons, and they all three work with the Commission. Or, at least they used to. Dr. Woody did Kate's repair, but unfortunately he is in semi-retirement because of health issues. Last time she was there she saw Dr. Andy instead. We noticed several differences in their approaches. First, Dr. Andy has a better bedside manner overall. It is hard to describe if you haven't met either of them in person, but he looks you in the eye and is easy to talk with. However, we adore Dr. Woody. Not only is he a fabulous surgeon, but we like several of his methods better. For example, Dr. Andy recommends no-nos for the arms and syringe feeding after surgery to prevent the child from messing up their stitches. While I know these things are common practice, Woody felt like it was more bother than help for a two-year old. He never made us use them.
Also, Dr. Woody believed that if the initial lip repair was good that the child should be a teen before deciding if they wanted cosmetic surgery to "clean up" the area (nose, lip, etc.). He always told Kate that her lip looked good. Last time Kate was at the Commission, Andy told Kate he wanted to fix it now. That was the first time anyone had ever told her that her lip needed to be fixed at all, and now it is an issue. So what we had before was a child who knew her lip was different but didn't care, and what we have now is a child who worries about her lip being different. Needless to say, Mama Bear is a bit miffed about that. I plan to have a chat with Dr. Andy in the near future about little girls, self-esteem, and body image.
Ahem. Back to Jack's appointment.
One the first things we noticed about Jack's cleft was that the gum line is somewhat intact. We were fully expecting it to be a complete cleft since the lip, nose, and palate are involved, but when we snuck a peek we got a surprise. The plastic surgeon (Dr. Andy) thinks that because Jack's gum line is partially intact, he probably won't need a bone graft when he is older. This is fabulous news, as this can be a very painful procedure. (Kate will probably have hers in the next couple of years, and we are not looking forward to it.)
Dr. Andy hopes to do the palate repair sometime this summer. Ideally we will coordinate the palate repair, get the ENT to put in tubes, and have a sedated ABR (hearing test) done, all at the same time. It will likely be a one night stay in the hospital, and he will be allowed to go home when he is eating/drinking/urinating. It won't be fun, but we will all survive.
Also, I got the physical copy of Jack's hearing test today. Not only is his hearing loss in the mild/moderate category, but according to that latest test he can hear at 20 decibels. The original report from China had him hearing at 45-100. (I am sure that all of the audiologists, doctors, and SLPs out there are shaking their heads at my lack of ability to use hearing test terminology appropriately, but that is the best I can do at the moment.) That is huge, and we are very happy.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft issues:
Posts (yet to come) about Jack's cleft issues:
So, to recap: Good news - Probably no bone graft needed. Repair in the summer (July?). Probably will get tubes. Hearing is much better than expected.
(Skip to the end if you want the short version.)
There are these three brothers in our area who are plastic surgeons, and they all three work with the Commission. Or, at least they used to. Dr. Woody did Kate's repair, but unfortunately he is in semi-retirement because of health issues. Last time she was there she saw Dr. Andy instead. We noticed several differences in their approaches. First, Dr. Andy has a better bedside manner overall. It is hard to describe if you haven't met either of them in person, but he looks you in the eye and is easy to talk with. However, we adore Dr. Woody. Not only is he a fabulous surgeon, but we like several of his methods better. For example, Dr. Andy recommends no-nos for the arms and syringe feeding after surgery to prevent the child from messing up their stitches. While I know these things are common practice, Woody felt like it was more bother than help for a two-year old. He never made us use them.
Also, Dr. Woody believed that if the initial lip repair was good that the child should be a teen before deciding if they wanted cosmetic surgery to "clean up" the area (nose, lip, etc.). He always told Kate that her lip looked good. Last time Kate was at the Commission, Andy told Kate he wanted to fix it now. That was the first time anyone had ever told her that her lip needed to be fixed at all, and now it is an issue. So what we had before was a child who knew her lip was different but didn't care, and what we have now is a child who worries about her lip being different. Needless to say, Mama Bear is a bit miffed about that. I plan to have a chat with Dr. Andy in the near future about little girls, self-esteem, and body image.
Ahem. Back to Jack's appointment.
One the first things we noticed about Jack's cleft was that the gum line is somewhat intact. We were fully expecting it to be a complete cleft since the lip, nose, and palate are involved, but when we snuck a peek we got a surprise. The plastic surgeon (Dr. Andy) thinks that because Jack's gum line is partially intact, he probably won't need a bone graft when he is older. This is fabulous news, as this can be a very painful procedure. (Kate will probably have hers in the next couple of years, and we are not looking forward to it.)
Dr. Andy hopes to do the palate repair sometime this summer. Ideally we will coordinate the palate repair, get the ENT to put in tubes, and have a sedated ABR (hearing test) done, all at the same time. It will likely be a one night stay in the hospital, and he will be allowed to go home when he is eating/drinking/urinating. It won't be fun, but we will all survive.
Also, I got the physical copy of Jack's hearing test today. Not only is his hearing loss in the mild/moderate category, but according to that latest test he can hear at 20 decibels. The original report from China had him hearing at 45-100. (I am sure that all of the audiologists, doctors, and SLPs out there are shaking their heads at my lack of ability to use hearing test terminology appropriately, but that is the best I can do at the moment.) That is huge, and we are very happy.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft issues:
Posts (yet to come) about Jack's cleft issues:
- ENT (and probably more audiology)
- Early Intervention (this one might be a doozy)
- Speech (even though this is part of EI, it might get it's own post)
- Dentist (ie, How many teeth does Jack have, and will that be all?)
So, to recap: Good news - Probably no bone graft needed. Repair in the summer (July?). Probably will get tubes. Hearing is much better than expected.
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