I can't imagine my life without this girl.

This was my first glimpse of Kate NaNa. Isn't she wonderful? Don't you just love the cow vest?

I appreciate those of you who are still hanging out here. Really I do. I don't always have anything important or interesting to say, yet I know by word of mouth that some of you visit regularly. Thank you for that. It encourages me so much.

And if you are still hanging around after the last few posts that I have written, then hopefully I won't run you off with this one either.

Because I have another hard post to write.

I think you see where this is going, don't you?

Are you someone who is called to adoption?

Lately, some of you have shared with me that you have been praying about adoption, but you just aren't feeling it. Or maybe your husband isn't feeling it.

And so I have to ask another hard question: Are you praying with a surrendered heart?

If you are, and you aren't hearing from the Lord on this one, maybe God has other things in store for you. As I discussed with one friend recently, maybe God wants you to wait for His timing. (It wouldn't be the first time that our timing and His timing aren't the same thing:)

But, you have to be praying with a surrendered heart. To whatever God has for you. Whether it is child sponsorship, mission trips, adoption, or soup kitchens, pray that God will break your heart for the things that break His. And that is a hard prayer to pray.

I know that some people have been called to other things, and that is ok. But I know that some of you haven't even asked Him what you are called to do. Some of you are scared to ask that question. Maybe you are afraid of the answer. Afraid of what your spouse will think. Afraid you can't pay for it. Afraid of travel. Afraid your families will think you are nuts.

But aren't all of those things excuses? I know this because I have tried them. I have been afraid on this journey. But through it all, I can go back to November 2005 and remember. That was when Tim and started seriously considering adoption. We had discussed it before, but it was always something for later. Someday. But that month, we began to ask God to show us his heart. We asked Him if it was time to start our adoption journey, and we got a resounding yes. God gave us such a peace that it was time. Were we afraid? Yes, but we knew that God was calling us to something bigger than our fears.

Now I am going to say something else hard. Most of those children are not healthy infants. Some of them are, but most of them are older, hard to place children. They have special needs. But they still need parents. They still need a chance at more. They are still God's precious ones, in need of grace and love and hope. And you and I can do that. You and I can be God's hands and feet here.

So, what is next? Maybe you are just overwhelmed at all if this and you don't even know where to begin. You need more information. Go check out websites like No Hands But Ours. This website serves to encourage and inform parents about special needs. Join online forums like China Adopt Talk. This is simply a place for adoptive parents and potential adoptive parents to ask a million questions and encourage each other. (They don't just talk about China. There are rooms for other countries also.)

Maybe it is time for you to start talking to agencies. We used A Helping Hand, and we would definitely recommend them, but find an agency you are comfortable with.

Find out more about your state's foster program. There are so many children right here in the U.S. who desperately need homes.

Most importantly talk to adoptive/foster parents. I love it when people come to me asking questions. I will share honestly that adoption is hard. But so is parenting biological children. Like anything worth doing, you have to work at it. And it is soooo worth it.

National Adoption Awareness Month

This month is National Adoption Awareness Month, and for the past few weeks I have really struggled to put my thoughts into words. I wanted to be clear that there are many ways to serve the orphan. I hope I have done that. But there are a couple of other ways that I haven't mentioned yet.


Let's do the easy one first, yeah?


Pray.

Pray for adoptive families.

Pray for Waiting Children (perhaps these children specifically).

Pray for foster families and foster children.

Pray for children living in extreme poverty.

Pray for kids who need surgery.

Who need food.

Who need a mommy and a daddy.

Visit waiting child lists on agency websites and pray.


Pray, and see if God moves your heart.

Allow Him to tell you what breaks His heart, and pray.



(Obviously there is a big one I still haven't mentioned yet. I promise I haven't forgotten it. It's just still brewing:)

Are you uncomfortable yet?

As if my previous post wasn't long enough, I woke up this morning and remembered two things that I forgot.

First is care of widows. This one is not that hard, but we overlook it every single day. Again, we don't want to be uncomfortable. We don't want to make time in our schedules to serve. During this holiday season I challenge you (and me) to make time to reach out to a widow. If you don't know who to reach out to, ask your pastor for ideas. There are lonely people in your communities, and this time of year can be even more lonely for them.

Ideas to get you started:

• Visit a nursing home
• Support Meals on Wheels
• Rake leaves for a widow
• Participate in Senior ministry in your church (or start one if you don't already have one)

Second, I forgot to tell you one of the more amazing stories I have discovered since I began blogging. This is one of those blogs that I read occasionally, but not too often because it is so hard to read. It makes me want to do something, and that makes me uncomfortable. It is written by a young woman named Katie. Her ministry is called Amazima. Katie left her Tennessee home after high school to do volunteer work for a year in Uganda. And she never came home. She literally takes care of the least of these, every single day. She cares for 14 children in her home, in addition to her work in her community.

One day I was reading her blog (I don't remember which entry, or I would link it directly) and she was talking about what a loving family she has, and how blessed she is. Then she said the hard part. She said that because much has been given to her, much is expected of her (Luke 12:48). Because she has been given so much love, she is expected to give that love away in ways that make me uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable, because I have been similarly blessed. I have been given one of the most loving families imaginable, and how am I giving that love away? Much is expected of me, but am I doing much?

What breaks your heart?

Well, I can hear crickets chirping from my last post, and I will probably get crickets with this one too, but I am going to do my best to say hard things anyway.

James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

I don't know about you, but when I hear that, I can't brag about the ways I am taking care of orphans and widows. Most of the time, I do a pretty lousy job of it. When was the last time I took a widow a meal? When was the last time I volunteered in an orphanage (umm, never)? And while Kate NaNa once was an orphan, she is an orphan no longer. She has a forever family and thankfully no longer qualifies.

I also can't brag about keeping myself from being polluted by the world. Let's face it. There are a lot of way to be polluted, and I am not going to get into them all here. I am going to focus on one way.

All too often I think that the Church looks way too much like the world. I'm not talking about an organized Church (I could, but that's a whole 'nother discussion). I am talking about believers that should be the hands and feet of Christ, but aren't. Specifically, I think that we are too comfortable. We don't want to be bothered or step out of our comfort zones. And yes, I am guilty here as well. We are more concerned about having the newest technology or what we are going to wear tomorrow than we are about orphans and widows. I am not saying that gadgets or nice clothes are a bad thing. I am just saying that if we think more about these things than we do about the things that God cares about, the things that break his heart, then maybe our priorities are a little out of whack. When was the last time you wept for the orphan?

There are children out there without mommies and daddies out there. Many of them need special medical care. They need surgery to repair their cleft lips. They need club foot castings. They need life saving heart surgeries. They need foster care.* Are you still comfortable?

I don't know about you, but sometimes the needs feel a little overwhelming. Sometimes I don't even know where to start.

So, I have put together a list of ways you can participate in orphan care. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list. Not even close. It is simply meant to get you started. Some of these are Christian organizations. Some of them are secular in nature.

• In my last post I mentioned Compassion International and World Vision. World Vision's orphan sponsorships focus on children whose parents died with HIV/AIDS.
• I have a friend who works with orphanages in Ukraine. Last time I talked with him, he was looking for sponsors for children. Contact me if you would like more information. (Update: This is called MASTER Provisions.)
• My agency, A Helping Hand, does tons of relief work with orphans, specifically in Guatemala and China. They also gave birth to an organization called Orphan Voice that is run by their founder. They work in Southeast Asia. You can sponsor children, or volunteer to go on a trip.
• Both Hands - This is an awesome organization that helps widows and orphans at the same time! Basically, adoptive families get sponsorships to do work on the homes of widows. Very cool.
• Come up with your own awesome idea. Two of my friends recently held a big book sale, with all proceeds going to families who are adopting internationally. I love that. My friend Tara has a photography business and does adoption promos. I love that too!
• Start an adoption ministry at your church.
• Support the Dave Thomas Foundation. Yes, this is the Wendy's guy.

All of the following organizations operate in China (I am sure there are other amazing organizations doing work in other countries. China is just what I know about.):

• Maria's Big House of Hope, a part of Show Hope - Many of you will remember the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter. To honor her, there is a beautiful and amazing facility in China that serves special needs children. You can click on the links to find more information about sponsoring the facility, volunteering at Maria's Big House of Hope, or helping fund adoptions.
• An Orphan's Wish - Another wonderful organization with sponsorships for kids with special needs.
• Starfish Cleft Home or Starfish Foster Home - Both of these facilities allow folks to sponsor children who need surgeries and/or special medical care.
• Pearl River Outreach - Sponsorships for this organization pays for children to be taken care of in foster families rather than orphanages.
• Love Without Boundaries - This organization funds medical care, foster families, and lots of other great stuff. They have child sponsorships, and even a cool online store.
• Half the Sky Foundation - This is another organization doing wonderful work in China. You can sponsor children here too. (By the way, my friends are adopting a little boy from a HTS facility, so that's another reason to support them.)

Since this is National Adoption Awareness Month, I am definitely not done, but I will save it for another post.

* RE foster care - Foster care cannot replace forever families. They are usually temporary situations. However, in our family, we are thankful that Kate was privileged to be in foster care for much of her time in China. Foster care allows much more individualized care of children (obviously), but it also allows babies to form attachments with their foster parents which is an extremely important part of their emotional and mental development. We firmly believe that part of reason that Kate has adjusted so well is because she had a wonderful foster mother.

What I Really Want for Christmas

In case you haven't noticed, one of the things I am passionate about is children. Not just my own children, but all kinds of children. I work with my church's children's ministry. I am a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). I like to help out my friends by watching their children. I love kids, even when they are loud, crazy, and driving ME crazy.

Another thing I am passionate about it adoption. (Do you see a theme here?) It breaks my heart to see children in orphanages, even when it is a brand spankin' new, well-staffed orphanage. Kids needs forever families. They just do.

So because I care about these things, I also care about the causes of abandonment of children. In a perfect world, kids would get to stay with loving birth parents who have the means to care for their children. But unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world where poverty and inability to feed a child can force a loving mother to leave her child with strangers. Where HIV/AIDS can ravage a father's health, leaving him unable to work and provide for his children. Where parents have to choose which child can go to school, get medicine, or eat... or maybe they don't have this choice at all, because they can't afford these things for any of their children.

This is why my family and I support organizations like World Vision and Compassion International. Specifically, we sponsor a child through World Vision. He is a little boy in Ethiopia named Melake with the exact same birthday as Will. (We asked for that. We used to sponsor a boy with Ben's birthday.) Our monthly sponsorship allows him to get food, medical care, and many other things. We just began sponsoring him recently, so I am not completely up to speed about his family's situation, but I know that he lives in a community that is being ravaged by HIV. I am thankful that he lives with his parents and brother. (Both organizations have orphan sponsorships also, but I will talk about orphan care in another post.)

Here is the thing. I am not trying to brag. Promise. In fact, I rarely mention my sponsored child unless someone asks me who the kid on my fridge is. But because I care about orphans, I want to help make sure that kids are able to stay with their families. I don't want Melake's parents to have to leave him at an orphanage because they can't feed him. I pray that they will never have to face that day.

World Vision recently released their Christmas Catalog. No, it is not filled with toys and games and stockings that you can order for your family. It is filled with things like goats, chickens, and cows. You can order seeds and fruit trees to be planted in communities supported by World Vision. You can send a girl to school. You could even supply a health clinic. I love this project because it doesn't just throw money at a problem. It gives parents tools for supporting themselves and making life better for their families. It keeps families together.

So this year for Christmas, could I use a new sweater? Or some pretty earrings? Sure. But what I really want is clean water for children. Small business loans for mothers. Plumpy'nut (It's like peanut butter on steroids) for malnourished toddlers. Children who don't have to leave their families. I want the Church to be the hands and feet of Jesus. That's what I really want.

What do you want?

It's Preschool Time

One of the reasons that Kate was so excited about her birthday was because she knew that once she turned 3, she was going to school. On her birthday, she officially aged out of our state's early intervention program, where she has been receiving weekly speech therapy. They then transitioned her into our county's preschool program, where she continues to receive speech services once a week.

So the week following her birthday, her Daddy loaded her up for the traditional first-day-of-school breakfast. As usual, she wanted Daddy's food more than her own:)

It has been a bittersweet transition for this mama. On the one hand, she is my baby. I have had so many questions - Will the new speech therapist know her stuff? Will the teacher be sensitive to racial/cultural/adoptive issues? Will they respect my rights as a parent? Will Kate be happy? Will she regress in her attachment? Will she understand that I am not abandoning her every day? Will she pick up horrible things from the other children? Will she learn anything? And on and on and on. Not to mention the fact that I have not been the biggest proponent of preschool around. (Someday I will have to tell you how my perspective regarding preschool has changed over the years.)

On the other hand (and to answer some of the above questions), her teacher (who Kate calls Miss Whoa-Ah) has been wonderful. She has something like 5 nieces and nephews who have been adopted from China, two of which have CL/CP. Is that cool or what? Her classroom is multicultural/multiracial, and I feel like that is respected. Kate loves loves loves it. She looks forward to it from the minute she gets home until she can go again. Yesterday we were cuddling and she said, "Miss Whoa-Ah calls me Kate NaNa" and she giggled. I asked her if she liked that and she said, "Yeah, I see Miss Whoa-Ah in two more days!" (No, that's not her real name, but it's pretty daggone cute, ya?)

Another plus is that for the first time in more than a year, I have scheduled alone time. Yes, ladies and gentleman, between the hours of 9 and 12, two days a week, it is possible that I will be without children. However, since things never go according to schedule, my children have been sick for the last two weeks straight and I still haven't had that alone time. At the moment everyone is healthy, and they are all supposed to leave my house tomorrow morning. What in the world will I do with three whole hours? It is entirely likely that I will waste it, but it's time without children and I will do what I want, so there!

Aaaargh...Well, maybe...

First off, let's get the pumpkin-decorating-cuteness out of the way... They hate to get their hands in the pumpkin guts, so Daddy always ends up doing the carving himself while they watch and say, "Gross!" This year, between our multiple school field trips to the pumpkin patch, we ended up with three small pumpkins. So while Daddy carved, they colored.

Every year Will changes his mind about 12 times before he settles on a costume. This year it was Larry the Cucumber, Ben 10, Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and several other things that didn't make the cut. I usually avoid buying anything until the last minute because he always changes his mind.

One day, we came upon these adorable pirate costumes. Pirates were on the short list, so I thought the kids would go for it. Ben and Will were both gung-ho. Even Kate loved the idea. At the time I tried the whole What-about-this-cute-and-adorable-pink-flowery-costume? thing. But she said adamantly, "I be a pi-what." OK, fine. Three pirates it is.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought we should all dress as pirates. I even convinced Tim to get in on the act. But you know what happens to the best laid plans. The night of Trunk-or-Treat, we were all getting ready to be pirates (aaargh), when Will decides he is NOT going to be a pirate. I was a bit peeved, but fine, whatever. Go dig something out of the play clothes box.

He said that he was our pet dragon, but most people thought he was the crocodile from Peter Pan.

For our next Halloween adventure, Will had a Fall Party at his school. I didn't even try to guess what he would want to be that day. But I should have.
Kate had to dress up with him before school to give him a proper send off.

Then, for actual Halloween night, he was all fired up to be a pirate and go trick-or-treating. Kate? Not so much.

"I NOT be a pi-what, Mommy!" Fine, whatever. Go dig something out of the play clothes box.

She is a Power Ranger, btw.

Throughout all of this, Ben was happy to be anything for Halloween. His main concern was our decorations, or lack thereof. So he spent all day Saturday makes decorations for the front door. He enlisted his brother and sister to help, of course. Best Halloween decorations I ever saw;)