WANTED: Prayer Warriors (Part 2)

I was reminded last night that when we went to China to get Kate that we asked for prayer warriors.  Y'all covered us up with prayers, and God blessed us in so many ways, so I would like to do that again for Jack.

I am thinking that while we are there, I just want Jack and my whole family covered in prayer. We want God's guidance, good health, blessings, peace, and courage while we are there (and home for that matter). So I am calling on you all - my friends and family, as well as those of you I have not yet met in person - to pray for us. I know that some of you already are. You have sent me comments and emails telling me so. What I would like is to have at least one person/family praying for us everyday. We leave on Thursday, April 5th, and return on Wednesday, April 18th. Would you be willing to take a day to pray? Whenever we come to your mind, lift us up to the throne? If you are willing, send me an email or fb or a comment with the day that you will pray for us. Our schedule is written on one of the sidebars on the right, so you will know where we are. I will try to post each day while we are gone so that you will know what our needs are. So, let me know what you think. I appreciate your encouragement even more than you know, and I value your prayers!

Ideas of things to pray for:
Our health, our safety, Jack's caretakers, Jack's attachment to us, the other kids' adjustment, the kids will travel well, my mom and brother, patience for Tim and I, and our guides in China. I am sure I will think of more things as I go!

A Family Prayer

I have never been much for celebrating Lent. Growing up, my family didn't celebrate. My church didn't even mention it. And I grew up pretty oblivious. Easter and Palm Sunday were big stinkin' deals, but Lent was not on my radar.

Last year, Tim followed a Lent calender that wasn't so much about giving stuff up as it was about doing for others and just stopping and paying attention to the season. This year he decided to create a family Lent calendar for our church. Everyday has a different activity for the family to do together. It has been a challenge, and I'm not gonna lie - we haven't done it everyday. Some days are easy, like participate in a hobby the children enjoy. Others are harder, like not using sarcasm for a day. (Ouch.)

One day the instructions were, "Write a prayer about how you would like to see your family grow." So the five of us sat down and took turns writing down our prayers for our family.

I am so thankful for my precious family.

Wait

This post has been doing flip-flops in my head for several months, but honestly I haven't wanted to write it all out. My feelings on the topic are rather muddled, and I haven't been sure I want to be that transparent here. But I have decided it is time. It is consuming too much of my thoughts for me to not talk about it.

You see, Tim and I want to adopt again. That sounds straight forward enough, right? Back in November, we were both all gung-ho, and couldn't wait to get the process started. But then we hit a road block or two, and we had to put things on hold for a bit. Now, we are free and clear to start again, but we haven't done it.

And the truth is, I am the one holding us up. I am the one who has always wanted a house full of children and who is always dreaming of one more. I am the one who spends an obscene amount of time on Rumor Queen, stalking adoption blogs, and circling Waiting Child lists and Rainbow Kids.

But now, I seem to be frozen, and I'm not sure why. For one thing, I seem to be full of contradictions. One minute I find my children endearing and sweet, drinking them in and desiring to have more of them, and literally seconds later, I want to be free of them completely. Not that I would ever wish that I didn't have them (OK, well maybe for a second). It's just that sometimes I am ready to be done with this stage of life. Some days, I want to be at a place where they are more self-sufficient and I could do other things than give 100% of my time to them.

Then there are the days where I am just immobilized by grief. Not immobilized in my daily life, but in the adoption process. You would never know it to look at me, but some days I can't get past the fact that there is so much corruption in adoption. It grieves my very soul that there are places in the world where children lose their parents because of poverty. In our day and age, no family should have to be separated by poverty. It is one of the many reasons that I encourage everyone, no matter how much or little your family makes, to sponsor a child. Sponsoring a child through World Vision or Compassion International can keep families together by providing much needed food, shelter, and medical care to families who need them.

But I digress... Oh yes, my grief. And did you know that there are places in the world where corrupt adoption agencies and orphanages can go into villages and neighborhoods and literally coerce families to give up their children? They make promises of education and give false hope that the children will return to the village one day. They talk of the riches of America, as if that is something more important than the love of a mother and a father. And these "Christian" people steal these kids. Oh, how that just kills me. And there are other places where a parent might bring a child to an orphanage because they are having trouble providing for them. They intend for it to be short-term, and they visit regularly. But one day, they show up to see their child, and the child is gone. He has been adopted by an American or European family who has no clue that this child has parents already. Oh, my heart just breaks how these impoverished families are taken advantage of!

Of course, I know that not every adoption is corrupt, but far too many of them are. Far, far, too many. And while I have seen no evidence of corruption of this particular nature in China, there are still other things to grieve over. Loss of country, language, foster families, and everything they know, for starters. And I have first-hand experience with a grieving child. Oh, how it breaks my heart.

But I also have experience with a child who is so resilient and so loving and so amazing, that I wonder... what if? And I also know that even though the 147 million orphans figure is grossly inflated, there are still children out there who legitimately need families. If I could manage to get past my own fears, what then?

And so I pray. I ask God for direction and discernment. Because I don't have the answers to all this. I don't know if I have another son or daughter out there. I don't know if God has other plans for my life. So I am waiting. Because sometimes He says yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait. And right now, I am hearing wait. But I am still praying that will change soon.

I need a hero.

Last week we went to an amusement park with Dad and Jee. We had a great day, overall, but there was one serious not-so-great episode. One part of the park is a water park, so we spent part of the day there. Ben and Dad enjoyed the slides, but the littles just wanted to hang out in the wading pool, which was completely packed.

It was super hot, so Will, Jee, and I were sitting in the shade while Kate played in a fountain, just feet from us. I was watching as she played, but at one point she walked behind a group of people, and I could no longer see her. I waited a few seconds for her to come back, but she didn't. Jee was closer, so she got up to spot her. I could see from Jee's face that she couldn't see her anywhere. I got up to help look, but after a minute of searching this very, very crowded pool, I started to get frantic.

I don't think I have ever been so terrified in my life. I was ready to have the lifeguard lock-down the front gate and go search under bathroom stall doors. Every horrible scenario ran through my head in about .5 seconds.

I had already observed how professional the lifeguards were, and had spotted the main lifeguard at her stand about an hour before. (When you have been a lifeguard, it is just habit to notice this stuff.) I ran over and got her, explaining that I had lost my 3 year old daughter. I described her completely, and said a prayer of thankfulness that I knew exactly what she was wearing, not to mention the fact that she was the only Chinese child I had seen in that particular area. Then I went back to my previous prayer which had been running non-stop in my head for about 4 minutes at this point, "Please, God, please, God, please, God..."

I stood there for another minute, praying and looking, when Will says, "There she is!"

"Where?!"

"On the other side!" Sure enough. There she was, dangling off the other side of the pool. She was in about 4 feet of water (she is not 4 feet tall), hanging onto the side. She wasn't upset in the least. She was just trying to go touch a rock that the boys had played on earlier. I'm still not sure how she even got over there.

Of course, when I got her in my arms, I gushed and tried to explain to her what had happened and how she mustn't wander off, but she had no idea she was lost in the first place. She thought I had been watching the whole time.

And then I grabbed Will, thanked him profusely, and told him he was my Superhero! He beamed, while Kate scowled because she didn't see what the big deal was. Will was extremely proud though, and reminded me several more times that he was my hero.

So the moral of the story is, lock them in the house and never let them out until they are 32.

OK. So that isn't the moral of the story, but it sure would be easier on my blood pressure and my sanity.

Ear tubes...again

You may recall that Kate NaNa got a spankin' new pair of ear tubes a few weeks ago. She did really well, but after the surgery, one of her ears started to bleed and the tube got clogged, despite the fact that we were using the drops as prescribed by Dr. M.

For the last two weeks we have continued to use the drops, in hopes that it would break up the clot.

It hasn't happened.

I am incredibly frustrated, and Kate is incredibly sick of having to lay on her side four times a day while I put drops in.

The doctor and I discussed our options and decided to give the drops a couple more weeks to let them work. He wasn't optimistic that anything would change, but it would give me some time to decide what to do next.

Because the next step is to either do nothing (he said he Eustachian tubes are working at the moment ~ i.e. no fluid in the ear) or go in and surgically remove the blocked tube and replace it.

I have no idea what to do. And I am tired. And frustrated. So would you all do me a huge favor? Would you pray for Kate NaNa and me? I am looking for clear direction here. As in, the tube gets un-clogged, or I see a billboard with instructions. (You laugh, but I actually got that once when I asked for it.)

I don't have a pretty bow to wrap up this post, but I will let you know how things go:)

I won!

I am soooo excited:) I keep saying that over and over again, but it's true.

I just won a giveaway that I didn't even know I had entered.



A few weeks ago, Tonggumomma posted this beautiful Chinese lullaby, which my kids and I completely love. {Thanks, TM!} Then she asked for other songs that reminded us of adoption. I posted this song (it's the first one that plays), which Will and I listened to a lot as we waited to bring home our third tomato. (As an aside, we don't have a clue who sings this or what the title is. If you know, please let me know.) As we would listen, we would have all these conversations about whether tomato #3 was a boy or girl, how old, which province, and all of that.

By the way, it's not that we were leaving Ben out of the conversation, he just didn't really like that song and was always frustrated that I didn't play Istanbul instead. And, lest you think I didn't talk about this stuff with Ben, know that anytime I was frustrated with waiting and ready to give up on adoption, I was reminded by Ben to pray for our tomato #3. Every. Single. Night. Seriously.

(Is that a convoluted intro or what?)

Anyway, apparently my comment was an entry to a CD giveaway, and I won! See? I'm so excited:) It's also apparent that I ramble when excited...


**On another note, Kate NaNa (aka, Tomato #3) will be having her ear tube surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30. Say a prayer, if you don't mind:)

National Adoption Awareness Month

This month is National Adoption Awareness Month, and for the past few weeks I have really struggled to put my thoughts into words. I wanted to be clear that there are many ways to serve the orphan. I hope I have done that. But there are a couple of other ways that I haven't mentioned yet.


Let's do the easy one first, yeah?


Pray.

Pray for adoptive families.

Pray for Waiting Children (perhaps these children specifically).

Pray for foster families and foster children.

Pray for children living in extreme poverty.

Pray for kids who need surgery.

Who need food.

Who need a mommy and a daddy.

Visit waiting child lists on agency websites and pray.


Pray, and see if God moves your heart.

Allow Him to tell you what breaks His heart, and pray.



(Obviously there is a big one I still haven't mentioned yet. I promise I haven't forgotten it. It's just still brewing:)

Kate's Prayer

Have I mentioned that Kate LOVED Di and Jimmy's houseboat? We saw them the other day and she kept trying to talk Di into taking her back. All she has talked about since then is the "boat house". Tonight her prayer went as follows:

Mama: Dear God, thank you for....

Kate: Ummm, Mimi, Wa Wa (Will), bevy soo (bathing suit)

Mama: Bathing suit?

Kate: MY bevy soo. Ummm, Di, Muh (Ben), Muh's bevy soo, Mommy, boat house, Osie (Rosie, her friend from the houseboat), Wa Wa (She always prays for him at least twice), Da.

I was trying so hard not to laugh that I had my head buried in my arm. I was so thankful when "Amay" (Amen) came along so I could change the subject. Then, after we had hugged and kissed and turned out the light, she was still over there talking to herself about boat houses and bevy soos. Di, what kind of monster have you created!

Please Pray for my Friend...

I had several other blog posts floating around in my head that I wanted to write today, but that isn't going to happen. A little while ago I got a call that my dear friend, Doug, is in the hospital. Doug is one of my precious friends from college (one of the GP "girls") who I only get to see a couple times a year, but I still think of as a close friend. Honestly, he is one of the funniest people I know, he is a loyal friend, and he has the sweetest wife and baby girl.

Anyway, I don't want to share too much personal information, but Doug is sick. He isn't a little sick. He is a lot sick. So please lift him up in prayer. Pray for his whole family, his doctors to figure out what is wrong, and especially for Doug. I am praying for God to move in a big way. Please join me:)

Upcoming surgery scheduled

Kate's surgery has finally been scheduled for January 28th. As I type that, I get both scared and excited all at the same time. In less than three weeks, my baby will be put to sleep, her palate will be repaired, and her appearance will be altered (although only slightly). I am having trouble even verbalizing my feelings on this, so forgive me if I sound incoherent.

On the one hand, this surgery (along with her speech therapy) will hopefully repair her palate to such a degree that she will be able to make MAJOR progress in her speech. She will get ear tubes, so hopefully we will spend MUCH less time in doctors' offices and at pharmacies and taking antibiotics before bedtime. Which is all good stuff. It is what we have been hoping for.

On the other hand, it is surgery! On a two year old, whom I adore. So it makes me frightened for her. I also know that she is going to be miserable for quite some time. Yes, she will have some pain, although we hope that can be controlled and minimized. But she also will have her diet completely altered for awhile. She will spend 10 days on a liquid only diet, and then move to a soft diet before being allowed to return to normal food. Bless her heart, she loves to eat! I am not at all sure how we are going to deal with this, especially considering the fact that I have two small boys who also love to eat. I mean, seriously, Ben and Will aren't going on a liquid diet, which means I am likely to have an angry little girl on my hands. And boy can she give the dirty looks. I have a feeling that Ben and Will are going to get lots of fast food with their Daddy in the coming month. So at least the three of them will be happy:)

But there is also the issue of her lip. Originally the doctor had planned on leaving it alone until she is older. At her last visit he looked at it and decided that he would do a minor revision on the bottom of her top lip, where there is just a bit of extra skin. It isn't really noticeable, but it is probably the most noticeable part other than the tooth in front. I know that it will only be a minor repair, but I think that she is so beautiful. My boys are fond of calling her "the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen!" Will often adds, "She is so pwetty, I want to mawwy huh!" (I used to be the girl he wanted to mawwy. Go figure.) So I hate the idea of changing her appearance at all, even if it is to make her lip more "normal", whatever that is. I actually have a weird little extra skin thingy on my upper lip. I was pretty self-conscious of it as a kid, but I barely think of it now. But I am trying to think long term on this one, and I agree with the doctor in my head, even if my heart is torn.

In other words, I have a lot of conflicting emotions, which is pretty normal for me:) There is good and bad to be had wherever I look.

As for the prayer requests, we ask God to work through the doctors (who we think are great), provide us with other doctors, nurses, and technical staff who will be a blessing to Kate and excel at their jobs. We pray that she stays healthy until the surgery (the doc says that if she has a hint of a sniffle, the surgery will be postponed). We pray that she will be healthy and heal properly after the surgery. We ask God to give all of us patience as we deal with Kate's diet in the coming months. Especially Kate. She will need some grace to get through this.

Totally exhausted after day 2...

But I wanted to post real quick anyway. Today we went to the Forbidden City and Tian An Men Square. Lots of walking. I will write more about it later, but for now, I just wanted to let you know that we are scheduled to meet Kate at 10:30 in the morning. For those of you trying to keep up, that will be 10:30 pm on Sunday at home. Pray for us all!!

We made it to Nanjing safely, and have a huge suite with two bedrooms. What a blessing! I will try to post again in the morning before we go to the Civil Affairs Office, but no promises.

2 Days and Counting

In 48 hours I will be on an airplane on my way to Detroit. So why I am I playing on the internet?? Apparently, I am a pro at wasting time.

I think part of it is that this doesn't seem real yet. We started this journey in June 2005. We thought it would be about a year away. When we submitted our dossier to China in January 2006, things had slowed down, so we estimated it would be about a year away. When we were logged in two months later, it was about a year away. At every step of this journey, it has always been "about a year away". It is hard for me to get out of this mindset. It all feels very surreal, like I am packing for someone else, getting someone else ready to travel.

Am I excited to meet my daughter? Sure, but it doesn't seem real. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and I will still have a year to wait, right?

Continue to lift us up. Kate is probably back at the orphanage now and missing her foster family. Pray for her. This must be hard and scary for her. Who knows if anyone has told her what is going on, or if she understands any of it? I know that people say she won't remember it, but I really think she will. At least I think she will remember the feelings associated with it. Pray that someone will remember to show her our photos that we sent. And pray that we will get all of the things done that we have to do. Pray that culture shock doesn't hit us too bad. And that we don't all want to kill each other by the time we get there.

And pray for the families and children who are still waiting. We are so blessed to be where we are. There are so many who continue to wait...

Thanks for praying for us...

Many of you have responded to our request for prayer during our trip, so I thought I would post what I have so far. I will update it as more of you sign up. For those of you who told me to pick a day for you, I will very soon. I will post it here when I do.

Just a reminder that we will be 12 hours ahead of you. So if it says we are flying to Nanjing on Sunday afternoon at 2pm, it is really Sunday at 2am here.

Thursday, 10/9 - Whittle Family & Meadors Family
Friday, 10/10 - Ken H. & Dr. Williams
Saturday, 10/11 - Christy B. & Sheila K.
Sunday, 10/12- Natalie M. & Terry T.
Monday, 10/13- Mullins Family & Donna W.
Tuesday, 10/14- Marilyn K. & Linda B.
Wednesday, 10/15- Jeff & Maribeth H.
Thursday, 10/16-Gabbard Family
Friday, 10/17- Wright Family
Saturday, 10/18- Jenny B.
Sunday, 10/19- Virginia P.
Monday, 10/20-Charlotte and Kay, Kissinger Family
Tuesday, 10/21- Jennifer H.
Wednesday, 10/22- Shelley P. and Kristy R.
Thursday, 10/23- Beth H., Lydia & Pete M.

Again, thank you for being willing to cover us in prayer during this trip and lift us up to the throne. God is good.

PS. Only 4 more days!!!!!