This Moment

Life as a mother of four has not slowed down in the past year. I don't know why I thought it eventually would, but I did.  And maybe next year when Jack is in preschool, I might possibly have a child-free moment in my day, but for the moment my free time is often measured in seconds instead of minutes or hours.  Which means you are much more likely to find me on facebook than Blogger.  But that is ok for now.  I will take my adult connections where I can get them.

I honestly do miss blogging, and I frequently have moments that I want to capture, but the space in my brain that holds such things is currently occupied with swing set sale ads, online courses I need to take to keep my teaching certificate current, and vacation ideas.  Not to mention school projects, IEPs, and speech therapy appointments.

But right now, in this moment, I am having a moment I want to remember.  A moment when the children are not fighting over video games or whining about their supposed boredom.  And I want to write it down instead of making dinner or folding socks.  Because I make dinner and fold socks all the time, but how often do I get a moment like this?

For the past two hours, my house has been wonderfully argument free.  Will has decided to organize his younger siblings into an afternoon of playing school.  I can hear Will announcing that it is math time, leading them in singing their ABCs, and telling them to line up for recess outside.  (He even sang praise songs while he was "lesson planning". And right now he is reading them a story.  He has taken them on learning adventures all over the house, and they are having so much fun.  The only angry sound I have heard was when it was "lunchtime" and Will made them milkshakes, and Jack loudly insisted that his should be 'NANA!  (He really likes bananas.)  Jack and Kate adore their big brothers, and so they are just soaking up all of this attention. 

Meanwhile, Ben has a massive science project due on Wednesday. I am a terrible mother who used to try to help with such things, but found that this quickly devolved into frustration and yelling.  And so now I just watch.  His dad graciously takes him to the hardware store to pick out wires and switches for his circuitry project, and then helps him to test it all and make sure it works before Ben finishes it off.  The project is almost complete.  Ben just explained to me the difference between parallel and simple circuits, which I also learned in the 4th grade but have long since forgotten. I just go out to the garage every so often to "ooh" and "ahh" and pat them on the back, literally and figuratively. 

And so I want to remember this moment.  When all is peaceful.  I know that soon there will be hungry children to feed, tired children to put to bed, and more socks to fold.  But for right now, in this moment, all is right with the world. 

Happy Jack Yintao Day!

One year ago today I met my son, Jack Yintao. We celebrated tonight with Chinese food and home movies from Nanjing. (He was so tiny when we met him!)  His gift this year was a set of beginner chopsticks, which his siblings quickly claimed as their own.  Which was only fair since when I showed them to him he screamed, "NO!", which is is favorite word.  (He is two, after all.)

 

He is still as funny, cuddly, and sweet as he was then.

He is a charmer - even though he greets everyone he sees with a hearty, "NO!" people still seem to think he is adorable.

Even though he is a total mama's boy and every time his brothers or sister (or anyone else) tries to talk to me he screams, "NO! My Mama!", his siblings still love him and attempt to hug and kiss all over him.

And apparently he still makes ridiculous faces when the camera is on him.  It is his, "What do you think you are doing with that camera?" face.  (Five shots, no smile? I promise he does generally like to be with us!)

 

And if you want to revisit that wonderful day, feel free to go back and read about the day Jack joined our family.

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

Since I have been overwhelmed with life in the past year lately, I may have passed up a few bloggable moments.  But there are a few things I would never forget to tell you from 2012.

1. I would never forget to mention that Will learned to ride his bike this past spring.

2.  And I am sure that I remembered to post photographical evidence that we actually did spend a week at the beach with Tim's family. No?

 3. Likewise, I would never fail to blog if Kate learned to read.

4. If Ben had continued to write funny comic strips to amuse his teacher and me, I would post every single one.

5.  I am sure that if Will had visited the local newspaper office and become inspired to write his own newspaper, complete with cover story, sports section, interviews, comics, and puzzles, of course I would have told you about it!

6. I got a new camera just before Thanksgiving, but if a tall, skinny stranger tried to eat my youngest while I was messing with the settings, I am sure I would have remembered and posted a photo.

7.  I always remember to post the Annual Cousins-on-the-Stairs pic, especially if it is Jack's first one.

8. And if Kate ever won an award at school for never giving up or quitting, I would have taken the time to blog about it.

9. We didn't do anything fun like decorate gingerbread houses. And Jack-Man did not eat his house before it ever got decorated.  (Thanks again, Lilly!)

10. And of course, Jack did not fall on his face shortly before said gingerbread adventure, getting a large contusion on his forehead which is still visible more than two weeks later. 


I am also sure that the astute readers among you noticed that I still failed to mention our Christmas celebrations, but maybe I will get to that before the spring thaw. Or maybe I won't. Who knows what you will get from this bad blogger. 

Happy Birthday Kate (and Happy Kate NaNa Day too)

Many of you who hang out here already know this, but October is a big month for Kate.  Her birthday, date of abandonment, Kate NaNa Day, and her adoption day all fall within 12 days of each other.  And for those of you schooled in adoption issues, you know that means lots of different emotions crammed into a very small window.  This topic could probably be a post all of its own, but suffice it to say that she experiences excitement, grief, joy, and deep introspection - often all within about an hour.  Those of you who have witnessed a child grieve, you know they express it in many ways.  Kate is no exception. Her heart aches at the thought that she will never meet her first parents or see her foster mother again. She tells me that she misses China and wants to visit again soon.  Her feelings are valid, because it is sad to lose those things. Yet she still loves us deeply, despite (or perhaps because of) her grief and loss.  Adoption is complicated and messy and beautiful and redeeming all rolled into one big ball.  For Kate it just all comes at the same time. 

Anyway, the first of these big days comes in mid-October, when we celebrate Kate NaNa Day.  This was the four year anniversary of when we met our girl.  In our family it is a tradition that we go out to eat Chinese food, and then Tim and I give her a small gift that we bought for her in China.  This year it was a purple change purse at P.F. Chang's.

 

Ten days later her birthday (which also happens to be her date of citizenship) rolled around, and she wanted to celebrate with pizza and video games.  It was a good night for prizes. 

And last but not least, we had her birthday party the following weekend. For her party, she requested chocolate cake and Chinese dumplings.  We make the dumplings, or jiaozi, from scratch.  So with about 25 people at the party, that was a lot of dumplings.  Chinese families often make these together during celebrations, so I decided to insert some Chinese tradition into the party. Most people who attended learned to make them. I had the filling mixed and ready, and the guests helped roll, fill, crimp, and fry the dumplings. It was a huge undertaking for everyone, but it was a lot of fun and delicious.  They were a big hit.

I also managed to make my first chocolate cake from scratch.  Our family tries to buy only fair trade chocolate, but it was a challenge to find a good scratch recipe.  My aunt ended up mailing me her favorite one for a chocolate cinnamon cake, which was a big hit.  I love the icing so much it makes me want to cry.

As I was putting her to bed the night of the party, Kate told me, "That was my best party day I ever had."  I was glad, and asked her what she liked about it.  "I got a Hello Kitty alarm clock, Daddy set off firecrackers, and I got to eat my dumplings."  Add a lot of friends and family to that equation, and it really was a wonderful day.

Kate,
I love you sweet girl, and I love being your mama.  I am glad you have a tender heart and process everything deeply. It is such a wonderful part of who you are and how you care about other people.  You are a joy to parent, and I can't wait to see all of the amazing things you will do with your life.  And if you really do move back to China when you are a grown up, I will still come and visit you - probably more than you like:)

Overwhelmed.

If I had to pick one word to describe the last four weeks (yep, almost a month during which I haven't blogged), it would be overwhelming. 

While I sometimes like to write with lightheartedness or sarcasm, other times I feel that vulnerability and honesty are the better way.  October (and September, if I am being truthful) calls for that. 

Overwhelming.

I am overwhelmed with the number of appointments. My kids and/or I have had appointments with plastic surgeons, ophthalmologists, optometrists, ENTs, audiologists, orthodontists, dentists, speech and language pathologists, OB/GYNs, teachers, and pediatricians. I think we are currently averaging around five appointments a week.

I am overwhelmed with my kids activities.  Individually, it really isn't that much, but since there are four of them, it feels like more.  This fall the three big kids played soccer.  This winter Kate and Will are playing basketball.  Ben is on the academic team.  Ben and Kate want (and really should) take swimming lessons (and I am sure I will force Will to go as well).  Will and Kate also are in Bible Club at school.  Ben has an important role in the church Christmas play (which thankfully requires very little effort on my part), and Kate and Will are in the younger kids choir.  For now, I go to Sunday school with Jack to help him feel comfortable and safe, which we are thiiiisss close to achieving. 

I am overwhelmed by the pain of those that I love.  There are multiple people in my life who are hurting, and I want to fix everything for them.  I can't.  I can listen. I can hug.  I can pray. I can cook.  But I can't fix anything. (And those of you who are in that pain, please don't stop calling me.  I will worry about you whether you call me or not.  Talking to you actually helps. I mean it.)

I am overwhelmed by laundry, gardening, dirty floors, dirty toilets, disobedient children, screaming children (mostly one in particular), home repairs, phone calls, husbands who work around 50 hours a week, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, birthday parties, homework, children's church, political debates, and committee meetings.

But.

And this is a big but;)

I am also overwhelmed with the support I am getting from those I love.  My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of me and my family through all of the stuff I wrote about above.  They have let me vent, cry, and stomp my foot.  And then they make me laugh.  They cook for me and my children.  They help me make plans to make my life easier and talk through my options and give me their honest opinions.  Between my family, my college roommates, my book club, my fellow adoptive parents, and my friends who live thousands of miles away but still call to check on me on a regular basis, I am overwhelmed with support.

I am overwhelmed with joy spending time with my small group at church.  I, along with two other amazing women, work with teen girls each week.  These girls rock.  They are smart, funny, passionate, and compassionate, I can't believe I get to sit and laugh with them every week. 

I am overwhelmed with love.  Because even though we are crazy busy, my kids still take time to crawl up in my lap (or rather, my arms since I am not usually sitting) and tell me that they love me.  My husband still makes me feel beautiful and smart. And my God still reminds me Every. Single. Day. that He is in control of all of this.  Love. 

So, yes, I am overwhelmed.  With good, bad, and in between.  But it is all good.  And this too shall pass.  In about sixteen years.  I really have an amazing life.  If a tad overwhelming at the moment.

Birthday Bash: Will & Jack

Last year we had one massive birthday party for all three kids, regardless of the fact that their birthdays spread across a 4 month time span.  It's a long story, but suffice it to say that it is much easier to throw one massive party than three big parties, when more than half the guest lists overlap. 

As the birthdays approached this year, they all wanted different parties.  Ben wanted to take a friend for pizza and video games.  Kate wanted to go to a local pumpkin patch.  Will wanted a pool party.  His only rule was that he wasn't sharing his party with his brother.

Except then we met Jack.  Whose birthday is six days after Will's.  And Will said, "Of course, we will just share the same party."  And I said, "But you said you wouldn't share with your brother."  And he said, "I meant the other brother."

And so we once again had a shared party.  Which is just fine by me.  And the grandparents who have to travel.  My uncle graciously agreed to open his home and his pool to us, and our craziness.  Thanks again, Ricky:)

Will designed his own cake this year.  C3PO kept falling over, so we had to push him way far into the cake.  Hence, his short stature in the picture.

Jack wanted to wave his candles out, but once I blew them out for him demonstrated, he did his best to pretend to blow.

And thanks again to Grammy, because this mama forgot the camera at home.  Yes, I am that awesome.  Oh well, at least my kids are awesome. 

Ugh. I'm Stuffed.

As usual, our family took three whole days to celebrate Thanksgiving - one with each set of grandparents and their part of the extended fam. Which means that over the course of the last 72 hours I have eaten enough to last me until... probably tomorrow afternoon.

But also, as usual, I realize that I have much to be thankful for. My children have more grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins to love than most people ever will. We all love each other and get along (for the most part ;-), and we actually enjoy being together. We have a warm house to sleep in, food in our bellies, and good friends. We have a Savior who loves us.

We are blessed.
For some reason I never remember to get my camera out, but we did manage to snap the annual cousins-on-the-stairs shot, and then we got one of Tim's family.
Happy Thanksgiving:)

Colonial Williamsburg

Several weeks ago, the kids had a four day weekend for fall break. I had wanted to go to Colonial Williamsburg back in the summer, but the kids wanted Washington, DC even more, so we didn't go.

My mom is always up for a trip to just about anywhere, so when she asked me if we should go somewhere during fall break, I knew exactly where I wanted to go!

Because, yes, I am nerdy like that. Most kids want to go to Disney World (let down - Cinderella's castle isn't even a real castle for Pete's sake) or a beach (love, love the beach, but btdt). Me? I was always looking for some historic monument or battlefield to visit. So yes, I have always wanted to go to Williamsburg.

Back to the story. I honestly figured I would be dragging the kids from place to place and bribing them with promises of hotel swimming pools and movies in the room. But I was wrong. At least partially. I guess that the apples don't fall too far from the tree, because Ben and Will were just as enamored with the costumes and old buildings and museums as I was.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let us start in Jamestown, the first permanent European settlement in Virginia. (Let me just put it out there that although I love history, the Colonial period is not my specialty. I very well may be making this stuff up.)

The first stop was the museum, where we learned the basics of Jamestown history before venturing out into the park. We then walked to the re-created Powhatan village, where Will told us all about totem poles, we learned that it is really cozy in these houses when it rains, and we found out animal hides are pretty comfy to sit on. Ben also learned how to make a rope out of long leaves and grass.
Just down the hill from that is the re-created ships that the English settlers came on. The kids decided that it was way more fun steering or shooting the cannon than being inside the ship.

My mom was a total trooper, just going with the flow and enjoying her grandchildren, even in the rain. She loves to travel even more than I do (which is saying A LOT).

Then we went to the re-created fort, where they asked the park re-enactors lots of questions about chickens, blacksmithery, and the shape of the fort (I'm just glad there was somebody there to answer the questions, since in DC I got to field the hard ones).

The next day was Colonial Williamsburg, which I have to say is way bigger than I thought it would be, but there is a bus, so it is all good:)

We went to the governor's palace, the colonial capitol, and ate lunch. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and the kids were incredibly well-behaved during the tours. They participated several times, and Ben was asked to stand up and quote, "Give me liberty, or give me death!" at one point. He thought that was really funny.

We walked around, going into the "businesses" that interested us, and leaving when Will got bored. Will was a good gauge for that because Ben could've listened to these re-enactors all day, while Kate was bored immediately. Will was somewhere in the middle, so when he was done with listening we moved on. We visited printers, wig-makers, and lots others. They gave out maps to the kids, which Will loved, and if they went into certain places, they could go talk to a person sitting outside, tell them something they learned, and the person would stamp their map. After they collected so many stamps, they earned a free pin. Will talked some guy into giving him a second one.
He and Kate were fascinated with this jailhouse toilet.

After earning his pins, Will was eager to get to the museum, but at that point he was exhausted, and we all know what happens to Will when he is exhausted. But thankfully, they had a children's area with paper and crayons, which always has the most calming effect on my Will...


By the time they were done he was ready to go to dinner without making a scene. To bad I can't say the same for the other kids.

There was lots of climbing on statues.I later caught Will with his fingers up this guy's nose.

The last day was spent in Yorktown, which was the location of last major battle of the war. There were about a million re-enactors that day, who answered all of my kids questions. Some of them are park employees who are paid to do this, and some of them are volunteers. And some of these people are intense. I made the observation that the volunteers, who do this for fun, are waaaay more intense than the park employees. Like, sometimes you just have to walk away while they are still telling you about what soldiers' rations were like. I started asking them right off the bat whether they worked there or were just there for the weekend before I decided if I wanted to ask them any more questions.

Ben was asked to help load a cannon, which he thought was awesome, and Kate thought was loud.

After that we walked around the tiny little town, drove around the battlefield, and ended the day with some miniature golf. Because you have to do that on vacation. Or so my kids always say.
And what did Kate think? She never once complained, but I asked her what she liked the best, and she replied, "Nothing." The day after the trip, I overheard her tell her Daddy that she should have stayed home with him.

Birthday, Halloween, and Everything in Between

Every once in awhile I just need one big ole catch-all post to capture a whole bunch of busy-ness. This is going to be one of those posts, so prepare for randomness and tangents...

Kate is now a big FIVE year old. Yes, I said all of those cliche, "How did my baby get so big?" things, because seriously, HOW did my baby get so big? She is going to start kindergarten in less than a year! She is working on her letter sounds and writing! She helps me bake and wash dishes and folds laundry! She is sassy and bossy and hilarious! Ugh! So big!

OK, I feel a little better to have that out of my system, but I'm sure I will do it all again next time I see an old picture of her. Anyway, Grammy and Boopa, Bri and Danielle came up to celebrate by going to Kate's T-ball game and then to a local pumpkin farm that Will has asked to go to no less than 487 times since last October.

Mimi and Arlie also took us out for some Olive Garden on her birthday...which makes me really hungry to just think about.

Moving right along... As usual, the kids had no less than three opportunities to dress up for Halloween this year, with all the sugary goodness that accompanies that. Ben was a young Obi Wan for each event. Will was Obi Wan for event #1 and a pirate for events #2 and #3. Kate changed her mind hourly about what she wanted to be. I have stopped buying costumes at this point, because they have them ALL. Seriously, I just say, go upstairs and find something, and they come down fully dressed up. Anyhoo, she was a clone trooper, a dragon, and here you see her dressed as Clark Kent. However, she never actually opened her shirt to show the giant S, so she mostly just looked like a cute old man. They also decorated pumpkins with their dad. All three of them hate to clean out the pumpkin's insides, so Tim tells them that if they can't stick their hands in the pumpkin, then there is no way he is going to let them wield a knife. They are fine with this and just draw pictures of what they want, and Tim does the cutting. Ben's is the big Angry Bird on the left, Kate's is the Angry Bird in the middle, and Will's is the pirate on the right. Arrrgggg.