In case you haven't heard, I really like Jack's new plastic surgeon. He is bright, young, and enthusiastic.
And he cracked me up.
Early on in the appointment he commented that I had my hands full with Kate and Jack. I laughed and said that this was only half of the crew. He shook his head and made the standard "Oh, you are such saints," comment. This comment makes me crazy. Anyone who has said this to me in real life knows that I always answer, "No, we aren't saints. We are just doing what we want to do - parenting kids."
He must have seen it on my face (everything I think shows on my face). To answer him I started out, "No, we aren't saints," and he interrupted me with a smile and said, "Oh, so it's just poor impulse control then."
And I laughed. "Yes, exactly!" Because that is exactly my brand of sarcastic, dry humor.
So I have decided that this may be my new answer when someone tells me what I saint I am. "No, I just have really bad impulse control." Then I will shake my head and walk away.
As if you could adopt a kid on a whim. An impulse.
I am cracking up just thinking about it. Hehe.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Appointments, Part 7: ENTs (and Plastic Surgery Revisited)
I have had messages from several of you about what a bad, bad blogger I have been. During the summer Tim is gone a lot with the church youth, and I am doing the single parent thing. Plus, the kids are home with me all day, which means by the time they drop into bed at night, I am to tired to process a coherent thought. I thought about writing this morning because I didn't have anything on my schedule. But then I spent an hour scheduling doctor's appointments for five different people. Good times.
Anyway, on to the point of this post. ENTs and plastic surgery. Now you may be wondering why I am talking about plastic surgery again, when I just talked about plastic surgery two months ago.
Well, after Jack saw the Commission doctors, we saw the ENT that did Kate's first set of tubes, thinking that he would do Jack's too. Sure enough, he was willing to work with Dr. Andy to do them at the same time as the palate repair, but he was unwilling to do the sedated ABR (hearing test) the same day. He said he really preferred to do the the tubes and ABR first, and then let them do the palate repair later.
I nicely told him that if he was unwilling that I would have to take Jack to the other major hospital in town (that Kate is now a patient of) and let them do it all over there.
Suddenly he was a willing participant.
Fine. So I spent the next two weeks playing phone tag with the ENT's surgical coordinator and Dr. Andy's surgical coordinator, trying to get them to work together. They finally called me back with a date in the middle of August.
Fine. So then the next day I got a call from the Commission (remember how much I love them, she says sarcastically) telling me that Jack cannot get the sedated ABR done at this particular hospital because they (the Commission) don't have an audiologist contracted over there. They wanted me to go ahead and have the tubes and palate done, and then have a non-sedated ABR done in their office at a later date.
Fine. So I spent the next 24 hours mulling over all of this, and I realized that we were talking about something that was still more than two months away. I then I realized that this was more than enough time to research other options. Because at this point, I was fed up beyond belief at having to argue with the Commission, argue with a doctor, and play phone tag for weeks on end.
So, being me, I went into research mode again. I go to the Rumor Queen boards. I go to the Adopt Cleft Yahoo boards. I call people I know locally. And I learned I had a couple of really excellent options at that other hospital across town (where Kate sees her ENT). So I made the call to the Commission to request an appointment with the physicians over there. Of course, they wanted me to wait and go through clinic again.
In August or September.
No, we just went through clinic in May. I am not waiting until August or September. I want to go to their offices and see them there. Now.
And so we spent last Wednesday at that other hospital seeing Dr. V, the ENT, and Dr. L, the plastic surgeon.
Dr. V was very nice. She took what little history we had and agreed that Jack probably needs tubes placed. She explained that because it is such a minor procedure and the palate repair is a much more complicated surgery, that the palate repair would be scheduled first, and then whatever ENT in their practice was at the hospital that day would do the tubes. Since we are already in there so often and I know how they work, I am comfortable with that.
Then we went downstairs to see Dr. L. Now, every time I asked for recommendations for Dr. L, people would say, "Oh, he is the fireball. You will love him." And then they would go on to tell me how he pours himself into his patients, staying on top of the latest techniques, and is just eager to do his best every single day.
He did not disappoint. We saw his student first (SOP at this teaching hospital), and then Dr. L came in without a white coat. Ie, he didn't terrify Jack right off the bat. He takes a bit of history, looks at his palate, explains to me structurally why Jack's left ear is a little different from the right one, notices the stitch that has been in his lip since that repair in March 2011. He tells me that he doesn't use no-nos on kids this old and that Jack doesn't have to be weaned from his soft-spout sippy. He notices Kate, asks if he could look at her palate repair. Kate says no, but I try to persuade her. He stops me and says, "No, that's ok if she doesn't want to." Ie, he cares about how patients feel, even when it isn't his patient.
Then he told me that his surgical coordinator was on vacation all week, but that he knew he had an opening on August 28 so if we could get it all coordinated that it would probably be that day. I am sorry, but I have never known a surgeon to have a clue what their schedule looks like a month out with a coordinator telling them. Wow.
Then he gave me his personal email address (in case I thought of any other questions) and his personal secretary's phone number (in case I couldn't get him via email). Again, never had a surgeon do that before.
Oh, and we were in and out in just over 25 minutes (not counting new patient paperwork) and spent about 20 minutes of it with him. Again, a record.
So, all that long story, just to say that we now have a new plastic surgeon and a new ENT. Still waiting on the final details, but it looks like they will do the repair, the tubes, and the ABR all at the same time, and Jack will spend the night at the hospital . I am feeling good about the whole thing, whereas I had a bad feeling about everything over at the other place, what with the arguing and such. Those other docs are good physicians/surgeons, I like the other hospital fine, but I think that this is a good place for Jack right now.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft/developmental/IA issues:
Anyway, on to the point of this post. ENTs and plastic surgery. Now you may be wondering why I am talking about plastic surgery again, when I just talked about plastic surgery two months ago.
Well, after Jack saw the Commission doctors, we saw the ENT that did Kate's first set of tubes, thinking that he would do Jack's too. Sure enough, he was willing to work with Dr. Andy to do them at the same time as the palate repair, but he was unwilling to do the sedated ABR (hearing test) the same day. He said he really preferred to do the the tubes and ABR first, and then let them do the palate repair later.
I nicely told him that if he was unwilling that I would have to take Jack to the other major hospital in town (that Kate is now a patient of) and let them do it all over there.
Suddenly he was a willing participant.
Fine. So I spent the next two weeks playing phone tag with the ENT's surgical coordinator and Dr. Andy's surgical coordinator, trying to get them to work together. They finally called me back with a date in the middle of August.
Fine. So then the next day I got a call from the Commission (remember how much I love them, she says sarcastically) telling me that Jack cannot get the sedated ABR done at this particular hospital because they (the Commission) don't have an audiologist contracted over there. They wanted me to go ahead and have the tubes and palate done, and then have a non-sedated ABR done in their office at a later date.
Fine. So I spent the next 24 hours mulling over all of this, and I realized that we were talking about something that was still more than two months away. I then I realized that this was more than enough time to research other options. Because at this point, I was fed up beyond belief at having to argue with the Commission, argue with a doctor, and play phone tag for weeks on end.
So, being me, I went into research mode again. I go to the Rumor Queen boards. I go to the Adopt Cleft Yahoo boards. I call people I know locally. And I learned I had a couple of really excellent options at that other hospital across town (where Kate sees her ENT). So I made the call to the Commission to request an appointment with the physicians over there. Of course, they wanted me to wait and go through clinic again.
In August or September.
No, we just went through clinic in May. I am not waiting until August or September. I want to go to their offices and see them there. Now.
And so we spent last Wednesday at that other hospital seeing Dr. V, the ENT, and Dr. L, the plastic surgeon.
Dr. V was very nice. She took what little history we had and agreed that Jack probably needs tubes placed. She explained that because it is such a minor procedure and the palate repair is a much more complicated surgery, that the palate repair would be scheduled first, and then whatever ENT in their practice was at the hospital that day would do the tubes. Since we are already in there so often and I know how they work, I am comfortable with that.
Then we went downstairs to see Dr. L. Now, every time I asked for recommendations for Dr. L, people would say, "Oh, he is the fireball. You will love him." And then they would go on to tell me how he pours himself into his patients, staying on top of the latest techniques, and is just eager to do his best every single day.
He did not disappoint. We saw his student first (SOP at this teaching hospital), and then Dr. L came in without a white coat. Ie, he didn't terrify Jack right off the bat. He takes a bit of history, looks at his palate, explains to me structurally why Jack's left ear is a little different from the right one, notices the stitch that has been in his lip since that repair in March 2011. He tells me that he doesn't use no-nos on kids this old and that Jack doesn't have to be weaned from his soft-spout sippy. He notices Kate, asks if he could look at her palate repair. Kate says no, but I try to persuade her. He stops me and says, "No, that's ok if she doesn't want to." Ie, he cares about how patients feel, even when it isn't his patient.
Then he told me that his surgical coordinator was on vacation all week, but that he knew he had an opening on August 28 so if we could get it all coordinated that it would probably be that day. I am sorry, but I have never known a surgeon to have a clue what their schedule looks like a month out with a coordinator telling them. Wow.
Then he gave me his personal email address (in case I thought of any other questions) and his personal secretary's phone number (in case I couldn't get him via email). Again, never had a surgeon do that before.
Oh, and we were in and out in just over 25 minutes (not counting new patient paperwork) and spent about 20 minutes of it with him. Again, a record.
So, all that long story, just to say that we now have a new plastic surgeon and a new ENT. Still waiting on the final details, but it looks like they will do the repair, the tubes, and the ABR all at the same time, and Jack will spend the night at the hospital . I am feeling good about the whole thing, whereas I had a bad feeling about everything over at the other place, what with the arguing and such. Those other docs are good physicians/surgeons, I like the other hospital fine, but I think that this is a good place for Jack right now.
Posts (so far) about Jack's cleft/developmental/IA issues:
- Let the Appointments Begin!
- Appointments, Part 2: Audiology
- Appointments, Part 3: Plastic Surgeons
- Appointments, Part 4: The Dentist
- Appointments, Part 5: Early Intervention
- Appointments, Part 6: Speech
- Surgery
- ???
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Dear Jack,
I feel like you and I are still getting to know each other... there are still so many things I want to know about you! But at the same time, I feel like I have learned a lot in the last three months. And with knowing you better, comes loving you more.
I love the way that you run across a room, arms open wide to greet me with a hug and a kiss, even though you just hugged me a minute and a half ago.
I love the way you grin at me when you know that I understand that you want more milk.
I love it when I am laying down in your bed with you and you lean over and give me a kiss. I also love it when you put your sweet little hand on my cheek.
I love how you work so hard to learn new things. Like yesterday, you were determined to pick up that toy hamburger with your toy spatula and put it in the pan. You would scream every time you dropped it, but then you would pick it up and try it again. And eventually you did it, and you were so proud of yourself.
I love how you are starting to sign more and more. You can sign "more" and "milk" fairly well, but we are still working on "water" and "eat". I am confident that you are going to do it. You are determined, and so am I.
I love that you will eat almost anything I put in front you. As long as the person next to you doesn't have something different. If they do, you want their food instead.
I love how you play independently. You can play with your cars or your blocks for several minutes at a time. You want me in the room (and would prefer it if I were playing with you), but you can do this while I wash dishes or fold laundry.
I love how you are starting to trust me. Sometimes you might be scared, but when you are in my arms your fears seem to melt away a bit. I am glad you are learning that I will keep you safe.
I love it when you walk with your hands behind your back. You look like a little old man. It is the cutest thing I ever saw.
I love being your mama. And I love that you are starting to call me that.
I love the way that you run across a room, arms open wide to greet me with a hug and a kiss, even though you just hugged me a minute and a half ago.
I love the way you grin at me when you know that I understand that you want more milk.
I love it when I am laying down in your bed with you and you lean over and give me a kiss. I also love it when you put your sweet little hand on my cheek.
I love how you work so hard to learn new things. Like yesterday, you were determined to pick up that toy hamburger with your toy spatula and put it in the pan. You would scream every time you dropped it, but then you would pick it up and try it again. And eventually you did it, and you were so proud of yourself.
I love how you are starting to sign more and more. You can sign "more" and "milk" fairly well, but we are still working on "water" and "eat". I am confident that you are going to do it. You are determined, and so am I.
I love that you will eat almost anything I put in front you. As long as the person next to you doesn't have something different. If they do, you want their food instead.
I love how you play independently. You can play with your cars or your blocks for several minutes at a time. You want me in the room (and would prefer it if I were playing with you), but you can do this while I wash dishes or fold laundry.
I love how you are starting to trust me. Sometimes you might be scared, but when you are in my arms your fears seem to melt away a bit. I am glad you are learning that I will keep you safe.
I love it when you walk with your hands behind your back. You look like a little old man. It is the cutest thing I ever saw.
I love being your mama. And I love that you are starting to call me that.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
My Sweet Ben
Last week we celebrated Ben's 10th birthday.
TEN. That's double digits, people.
(He adores all things Harry Potter and Star Wars. It was a close contest for whose face would get to grace his birthday cake. )
Excuse me while I get a little choked up and take a walk down memory lane...
Ben,
You are one of the kindest, smartest, funniest people I know. You love to read and write and draw and build Legos. I am so proud of your creativity and your persistence. You are a good friend and a great big brother, and you are loved by everyone who knows you. I adore your quirky sense of humor and generous heart. I love you even more than I did 10 years ago. I am so thankful that I get to be your mama.
I love you,
Mom
TEN. That's double digits, people.
Excuse me while I get a little choked up and take a walk down memory lane...
Ben,
You are one of the kindest, smartest, funniest people I know. You love to read and write and draw and build Legos. I am so proud of your creativity and your persistence. You are a good friend and a great big brother, and you are loved by everyone who knows you. I adore your quirky sense of humor and generous heart. I love you even more than I did 10 years ago. I am so thankful that I get to be your mama.
I love you,
Mom
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