Ear Tubes, Part......4?

Yesterday, Tim took Kate to the ENT. I fully expected it to be a "Yes, there is still improvement. See you in four months," kind of appointment. But that was not the case.

Only two months after her last surgery, she has to have another set of tubes put it. Ironically, it wasn't even that right tube that has been clogged that finally convinced the doctor. Nope. The left tube? The one that has been fine all along? It fell out. Yipee.

At first I was really frustrated. Well, actually if I am being honest, I am still frustrated. But if you remember, I was praying for a clear direction from God on what we should do about that silly right tube. Well, the left one falling out is pretty clear. It wasn't my first choice, of course, but we don't have promises of "easy" now do we? We have promises that He will never leave us, and that if we ask him He will give us wisdom. And a whole bunch of other promises too, but those are the ones I am leaning on today:)

The surgery is scheduled for August 6th. On the bright side, at least we don't have to do ear drops for a couple weeks.

Because We All Need to Laugh More

Today I was reading this blog, and she had a link to "Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party."

And the comments were hilarious too. My favorite one was from Goober's Mom:

"No one walks in a straight line and they randomly fall down.

There are always fights that need to be broken up. And are immediately followed by 'I love you, bro.'"

I know this is an old post, but I thought I would share the joy:)

I Heart the Lake

As a child, I was on the lake almost every weekend of the summer. It is one of my favorite places to be in the whole world. So when my cousin Dianne invited us down for a couple days on her houseboat, we jumped at the chance! (Plus, we love Di, so spending time with her is a bonus!)

The water was just little nippy, but Mimi was a trooper and got in anyway:) Anything for the grandchildren!

Thanks, Dianne!

(And can you believe I posted 7 days in a row? I don't think I've done that since China.)

Edisto Island, SC

I know I already posted pictures of our 10 day trip to Ohio and South Carolina (didn't you know that they were close together?), but I thought I would post a few more.

After leaving Ohio, we traveled south to Edisto Island, SC, where we met our friends Christa and Alex. It is a pretty little island that is very laid back, which is just how we like it.

We built sand castles.

Ate ice cream.

Swam in the pool.

And hung out with good friends.

(Christa and Alex were forced into multiple games of Cheese Touch with my children. Sorry 'bout that.)

Others of us simply sought out the shade.

Some of us also liked to hang out at the condo.

The boys loved to play in the ocean.

While Kate preferred to stay close to me.

This was as close as she would get to the water without tears.

On Monday we drove into Charleston. The kids were only interested in staying at the beach, but I got them into the car with promises of horse-drawn carriage rides and ice cream. We delivered on the ice cream, but the carriage ride was not to be. It turns out that the horses go home if it gets up to 98 degrees, and it was well over that all week long. Instead, we ate at a deli, where Kate had some yummy (and hot) chicken and dumplings.

By then, the kids were melting, so we put them back in the car and drove them down to the Battery.

Tim insisted that it would be fun to get a picture of the kids sitting on the cannon, but Kate was not in agreement.

Then we tried to go to the Children's Museum, but it was closed. Bummer. So we got back in the car and drove to Magnolia Gardens, a plantation outside of the city.

For some reason, I thought that plantation/garden = shade=lower temperatures. But it was so stinking hot that not even the shade was cool. I couldn't bring myself to lifting my arm to take a picture, so you will have to do without.

(Note to self: Do not take three young children to Charleston when it is 100 degrees outside. Everyone will be miserable.)

We really did have a great time at Edisto, even though it felt like we were on the sun a good portion of the week. But that's what the beach is for, after all.

Long-Awaited Cuteness

We waited for our daughter's referral for over two years. And during that time, I tried very hard not to "nest". I avoided the girls' department like the plague, because cute girl clothes just made me want to cry.

But when we received a file and pictures for Su Xu Na, I suddenly had a date of birth and measurements. I had a face that I could picture as I shopped. I think I waited less than 48 hours before going to my nearest Kohl's and going a little crazy.

Among my purchases was this adorable pink dress with white daisies all over it. I was so excited to see her wearing it. We brought her home in the fall of 2008, but I had high hopes of her wearing it the next summer. But she wouldn't try it on. Not even once. Until this year.

She's only let me put it on her once (she far prefers her Spiderman T-shirt), but it was totally worth it. Complete cuteness overload.

AdoptionTalk: Amy Eldridge of LWB Speaks

A fellow blogger shared information from a talk by woman who is involved in orphan care in China. For those of you who are interested, here is the link:
AdoptionTalk: Amy Eldridge of LWB Speaks

I was especially surprised to hear how much China has changed in the past 10 years. I had heard about it before, but it always takes me aback to see a society changing so rapidly. I also found the statistics on birth defects fascinating.

***********
Changing topics, I also wanted to share a post from my fascinating life. You all know that I want to be an advocate for adoption, but some of the language of the "adoption movement" bothers me. For an interesting read about God and adoption, check out the above link.

More Garden Goodness

Mmmmm...

Fresh zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, and onions, straight from the garden.

Wait

This post has been doing flip-flops in my head for several months, but honestly I haven't wanted to write it all out. My feelings on the topic are rather muddled, and I haven't been sure I want to be that transparent here. But I have decided it is time. It is consuming too much of my thoughts for me to not talk about it.

You see, Tim and I want to adopt again. That sounds straight forward enough, right? Back in November, we were both all gung-ho, and couldn't wait to get the process started. But then we hit a road block or two, and we had to put things on hold for a bit. Now, we are free and clear to start again, but we haven't done it.

And the truth is, I am the one holding us up. I am the one who has always wanted a house full of children and who is always dreaming of one more. I am the one who spends an obscene amount of time on Rumor Queen, stalking adoption blogs, and circling Waiting Child lists and Rainbow Kids.

But now, I seem to be frozen, and I'm not sure why. For one thing, I seem to be full of contradictions. One minute I find my children endearing and sweet, drinking them in and desiring to have more of them, and literally seconds later, I want to be free of them completely. Not that I would ever wish that I didn't have them (OK, well maybe for a second). It's just that sometimes I am ready to be done with this stage of life. Some days, I want to be at a place where they are more self-sufficient and I could do other things than give 100% of my time to them.

Then there are the days where I am just immobilized by grief. Not immobilized in my daily life, but in the adoption process. You would never know it to look at me, but some days I can't get past the fact that there is so much corruption in adoption. It grieves my very soul that there are places in the world where children lose their parents because of poverty. In our day and age, no family should have to be separated by poverty. It is one of the many reasons that I encourage everyone, no matter how much or little your family makes, to sponsor a child. Sponsoring a child through World Vision or Compassion International can keep families together by providing much needed food, shelter, and medical care to families who need them.

But I digress... Oh yes, my grief. And did you know that there are places in the world where corrupt adoption agencies and orphanages can go into villages and neighborhoods and literally coerce families to give up their children? They make promises of education and give false hope that the children will return to the village one day. They talk of the riches of America, as if that is something more important than the love of a mother and a father. And these "Christian" people steal these kids. Oh, how that just kills me. And there are other places where a parent might bring a child to an orphanage because they are having trouble providing for them. They intend for it to be short-term, and they visit regularly. But one day, they show up to see their child, and the child is gone. He has been adopted by an American or European family who has no clue that this child has parents already. Oh, my heart just breaks how these impoverished families are taken advantage of!

Of course, I know that not every adoption is corrupt, but far too many of them are. Far, far, too many. And while I have seen no evidence of corruption of this particular nature in China, there are still other things to grieve over. Loss of country, language, foster families, and everything they know, for starters. And I have first-hand experience with a grieving child. Oh, how it breaks my heart.

But I also have experience with a child who is so resilient and so loving and so amazing, that I wonder... what if? And I also know that even though the 147 million orphans figure is grossly inflated, there are still children out there who legitimately need families. If I could manage to get past my own fears, what then?

And so I pray. I ask God for direction and discernment. Because I don't have the answers to all this. I don't know if I have another son or daughter out there. I don't know if God has other plans for my life. So I am waiting. Because sometimes He says yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait. And right now, I am hearing wait. But I am still praying that will change soon.

Guess what? (Tongues, Tubes, and Random Thoughts)

So, y'all remember how Kate can't lift her tongue up off the bottom of her jaw? How she can do side to side, but if she wants up and down, her little lower jaw has to carry it up there for her? And of course, I've surely told you about how when she came home, she couldn't really do anything with that little tongue or those lips, because she never sucked on a bottle or was asked to do anything with that sweet little mouth, because of her cleft. And how because of that, her speech has had a few roadblocks. Or maybe more than a few. And you remember how she has been in speech therapy for 19 months, working her little heart out on her oral-motor skills?

Well...

Woohoo!!!

Can you see the pride in that face? And she deserves every bit of it. And while we are at it, let's give Jennifer, our SLP a big pat on the back too:) She has spent many an hour in front of a mirror making silly faces with Kate NaNa.

And now that some of you are thoroughly grossed out by pictures of my daughter's tongue, an update on the ears.

Drum roll, please.... We saw the doctor this week, and after digging another mountain of wax out of her ear, he was surprised to find that the clot is clearing up. He said there is a small opening, and he suspects that if we continue with the drops 4x a day that it will continue to open up and the tube will be fully functional! Can I get an amen? Thank you to everyone who has been praying for this. And of course, to the One who answered.

I didn't tell Dr. M that I haven't been the most diligent ear dropper in the world because after our previous conversation I knew that if they cleared up at this point (after 5 weeks), it would be a God thing, not an ear drop thing. So, we are still using the ear drops, but only about half as much as we should. Why? First, see the previous comment about God. Second, after five weeks of daily drops, Kate NaNa is not the most cooperative patient. She is sick and tired of those things. And third, my memory is advanced well beyond my years. And I have what I am now calling "summer brain". It's like "baby brain" except it hits when you are so tired of working and being with your children 24/7 because they are at home instead of at school that you do things like forget to take them to piano practice.

So, we go back in a couple more weeks for another check-up. At which point I remember why we are thankful that Kate is a Commission patient.

And I continue to be thankful for her beautiful, and now strong, little tongue:)

Summer Confessions

I have been on my best behavior so far this summer, so I thought I would give you all the Top 10 list of things I would never do.

10. I did not lose my 3 year old at an amusement park.

9. I did not pretend to be asleep for an hour and a half while my children ran around like banshees.

8. I did not forget to take Ben to piano lessons. Twice.

7. I did not call my friend and tell her that she had to come save my garden because I didn't have time. Twice.

6. I did not selfishly convince my boys that having one big birthday party for both of them would be more fun than having two little parties. In reality the only difference will be that there will be two cakes.

5. I did not refuse to get in the lake with my children and play.

4. I did not throw my oldest son in the lake because he bonked me in the head with a noodle. Whereupon he did not cry and yell a lot.

3. I did not ignore my leaking toilet for an entire week so that my husband can fix it when he gets home.

2. I did not lose it completely and yell loudly and at length at my five year old while I was babysitting our two-year-old friend O. (Thankfully, her mother did not have to forgive me when I apologized.)

1. I did not confess to my mother that it is already time for my children to go back to school!


As Will would say, that was definitely a sarcasm.

And we aren't even halfway through the summer yet.