If you've spent very much time talking about adoption with me, you know that one of the things that I love to see is family preservation. I love adoption and seeing families created, but I love seeing families kept together (in an abuse-free situation, of course) even more.
One of my favorite non-profits is an organization doing work with orphans in China called Love Without Boundaries. They provide medical care, nutrition (formula, cereals, etc.), training for care givers, and many, many other services for orphanages all over the country. Recently I came across their Unity Fund. Basically, there are lots of families in China who want to find a way to get healthcare for their children (duh, right?), but they can't afford it. LWB's Unity Fund steps up and pays for surgery and other care, so that families don't have to do the unthinkable and abandon their child. And there ya go. My new favorite charity.
Today, LWB posted about a father who needed to get care for his newborn son. The baby was born prematurely, and the mother died in childbirth. The baby has developed pneumonia. This father needed help. LWB has stepped up to help this family, but they need help to give help. Go check out the work they are doing and see if it would be something you would be willing to support too.
Seriously. Go on now.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Ben: Second Grade
How on earth am I the mother of a second grader? Next month he turns 9. I'm not even sure what to do with that. 
This year got off to a rough start. He missed his first grade buddies, most of which were not in his new class. He missed his first grade teacher. Thankfully things have gotten better since Christmas, and he has gotten a chance to do some creative writing. Have I mentioned that Ben wants to be an author someday? He and his brother are currently writing a book together. I love my boys.
Ben's writing is still funny and creative, just like last year, so I thought I would share...
A Poem
Ben's writing is still funny and creative, just like last year, so I thought I would share...
A Poem
A Short Story (I wouldn't read it if you have a weak stomach...) 
(Btw, while he does tend to get air sick, he combined parts of a bunch of different flights into one story - except his dad never called him strange. Ben just thought that would be funny. The story is at the bottom if you can't make it out here.)
And quite possibly the best fractions assignment evah.
And quite possibly the best fractions assignment evah.
(For those of you who can't read it: "2/3 of the darth vaders have light sabers." Love it.)
And I love this boy.
And I love this boy.
The Crazy Airplane Ride
It was a strange day on an airplane. I was with my dad when he told me we were going on a plane. He took me to the air port. Unforchunatly we got to the air port early. I was bored. So I read a little. Then I got really bored. Then we talked a little. Then I got even more bored. Then I Played with my toys for a little bit, and I got SUPER BORED! Then I wached tv until we got on the plane. When I got on the plane I bored again so I played with my toys again. Then they put on a movie. the movie was called Kung Fu Panda. Then Then the gave me a sticker book to intertain me until lunch. When lunch was served, I ate everything exept the rice. I ate the bread, chicken, tomatos and corn. My dad argued me to eat my rice. Finally I decided to eat my rice. When I did I threw up all over the plane. It was a big mess! It was icky! I hated throwing up. It wasn't fun. My dad went to tell the workers on the plane. I got a big drink of water. I felt like I was going to pass out. My dad took me to the rest room while the workers on the plane cleaned up my throw up. I stayed in the rest room for a long time finally I went back to my seat then we arived at China my dad called me "Strange." now I will never eat rice again.
It was a strange day on an airplane. I was with my dad when he told me we were going on a plane. He took me to the air port. Unforchunatly we got to the air port early. I was bored. So I read a little. Then I got really bored. Then we talked a little. Then I got even more bored. Then I Played with my toys for a little bit, and I got SUPER BORED! Then I wached tv until we got on the plane. When I got on the plane I bored again so I played with my toys again. Then they put on a movie. the movie was called Kung Fu Panda. Then Then the gave me a sticker book to intertain me until lunch. When lunch was served, I ate everything exept the rice. I ate the bread, chicken, tomatos and corn. My dad argued me to eat my rice. Finally I decided to eat my rice. When I did I threw up all over the plane. It was a big mess! It was icky! I hated throwing up. It wasn't fun. My dad went to tell the workers on the plane. I got a big drink of water. I felt like I was going to pass out. My dad took me to the rest room while the workers on the plane cleaned up my throw up. I stayed in the rest room for a long time finally I went back to my seat then we arived at China my dad called me "Strange." now I will never eat rice again.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Processing
The other day I was looking at a picture of a little boy with unrepaired cleft lip/palate on the LWB Facebook page. I try to expose Kate to this often, because the first dozen or so times she saw an unrepaired lip, she was really squeamish about the whole thing. She is now getting to the point of being able to see it as a part of herself and not feeling yucky about it.
Kate (in a happy voice) - Ooh, he has cleft palate!
Me - Yes, you had that when you were born, didn't you?
Kate - Mommy, did I come out of your belly?
Me - No, sweetie, you came out of your first mama's belly. She is Chinese like you.
Kate - What is her name?
Me - I don't know. I wish I knew, but I don't. If I knew her I would tell her how wonderful you are and thank her for giving birth to you.
Kate - When can we go back to China and find her name?
Me - I don't know. I don't know if we could ever find her. Maybe no one knows who your first mama is except for God.
Kate - Is He that boy who died on the cross?
Me - Yes, Jesus died on the cross.
Kate - Can we watch that movie again (referring to the Miracle Maker)? I liked that.
Me - Yes, dear, we can watch the movie about Jesus again.
Sigh.
In seconds, I went from pride because she was happy to see a face with cleft lip, to sadness for her that we don't know who her first mama is, to giggling silently because she referred to Jesus as "that boy who died on the cross."
One thing I am sure of, is that with Kate life will always be an adventure.
Kate (in a happy voice) - Ooh, he has cleft palate!
Me - Yes, you had that when you were born, didn't you?
Kate - Mommy, did I come out of your belly?
Me - No, sweetie, you came out of your first mama's belly. She is Chinese like you.
Kate - What is her name?
Me - I don't know. I wish I knew, but I don't. If I knew her I would tell her how wonderful you are and thank her for giving birth to you.
Kate - When can we go back to China and find her name?
Me - I don't know. I don't know if we could ever find her. Maybe no one knows who your first mama is except for God.
Kate - Is He that boy who died on the cross?
Me - Yes, Jesus died on the cross.
Kate - Can we watch that movie again (referring to the Miracle Maker)? I liked that.
Me - Yes, dear, we can watch the movie about Jesus again.
Sigh.
In seconds, I went from pride because she was happy to see a face with cleft lip, to sadness for her that we don't know who her first mama is, to giggling silently because she referred to Jesus as "that boy who died on the cross."
One thing I am sure of, is that with Kate life will always be an adventure.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Two and a Half Years Ago
It amazes me that this is how long I have known my daughter.
Some days it feels like she has been here much longer. She is so intertwined with my heart that surely she has been here forever.
Other days, it feels like the time has flown. Wasn't it only yesterday that I held this little toddler who cried until I gave her back to Baba? Surely it was only a few months ago (years?) that we turned onto our street and heard that sweet deep voice say "home" for the first time.
I have gotten out of the habit of posting updates because there is very little "adoption" or "special needs" stuff to post about anymore. She is my normal, four-year-old daughter, who still goes to speech therapy and still says, "Rock, Mama," before bed. But I still feel the need to record her progress, if for no other reason than to say - Look how amazing my girl is!
School/Speech Issues:
Kate is now attending preschool three mornings a week. She even rides the bus home every now and then, which she thought she would totally love, but it turns out it is only ok. She is unbelievably smart. She can write her name with amazing penmanship, holding her pencil better than her brothers do now.
Her class has several other kids with speech issues, and so the speech and language pathologist spends a lot of her time in the classroom working/playing with groups. This works out well for us, because it means the speech teacher interacts with Kate NaNa more often than she would if Kate was just getting her 30 minutes a week required by law. I can see (and hear) the progress - I am with her so much that sometimes I would be oblivious if I didn't intentionally slow down and listen for it. But it is definitely there.
Cleft Issues:
At our last visit with the plastic surgeon (December?) he was very pleased with how much Kate's cleft had healed. The lip was repaired in China, and he did the palate in January 2009. There is still a good-sized hole in the gum line that won't be repaired until she is about seven years old. It is an impediment to some speech sounds, but mostly it just bothers her when she has a runny nose. (Guess where the snot goes.) She has totally conquered the straw, which I had worried would never happen. It turns out chocolate milk at school is a wonderful motivation.
Hearing/Ears:
She is on her third set of ear tubes. Hearing-wise, I noticed a couple of months ago that she wasn't hearing 100% (she has some very minor hearing loss, but this was something more), but I also knew that there was so much wax in those little ears that she couldn't hear a mac truck. The ENT cleaned out her ears at the last visit (which was very tear-filled), and I have seen some improvement, although I think it may be time for another visit to the audiologist. Amazingly, she only had one ear infection this winter. Her left tube fell out back in the fall, and the right ear got a little infected a few weeks ago, but I was able to treat it with some drops.
*Update 4/16/11 - She was diagnosed with an ear infection in the left ear today. Last night she spiked a fever, so that's how I figured out there was something going on. The doc said it was "bulging really bad." I have a feeling that she had it two weeks ago when we treated the right ear, but she doesn't feel any ear pain, so we didn't know the left ear was affected. I'm frustrated with myself for missing it.
Attachment/Adoption Issues:
Currently we are having no attachment issues. (Can I get an amen?) She has appropriate separation behaviors (she is ok with me dropping her somewhere and happy to see me come back), when something is wrong she comes to me for help, she has learned to trust me, etc. I think I am creating an environment where she feels comfortable talking about her story and asking questions.
For example, I talk to her about China and adoption, and I bring up her first mother and foster mom occasionally. She doesn't usually have a lot to say when I do, except to get really excited about China, but she has started figuring things out. And she asks questions, like, "Mama, when did Mimi go to China to adopt you?" which led to an explanation of birth and adoption. Another question she asked recently was, "Mama, how did you carry two boys in your tummy?" which of course led to an explanation of what twins are and how her brothers aren't twins and what happens when babies are born. (Thankfully she hasn't asked how babies get into tummies yet.) These are all normal questions for a four-year-old, so I am glad she feels good about asking them.
Sleep Issues:
I used to roll this over into adoption issues, and I suppose I still could, technically. But now the issues seem to be age-appropriate rather than clingy/needy/grief-filled behaviors. She now goes to sleep in her own bed without us in the room. This is huge, people. However, about 2am, she gets out of bed, creeps into our room, and crawls into her pallet. We find her there the next morning. Will used to do the same at this age, but he decided his bed was much better than a quilt on the floor. She would rather be near us, and that is ok. She told me a couple weeks ago that, "It's not fair, because Ben gets to sleep next to Will, and Daddy gets you, and I don't have nobody!"
Siblings:
Well, they are siblings. I probably wouldn't feel the need to even address it here, except for the fact that I still get asked if they get along or not. I don't know--do your kids get along every waking moment? They fight and make up and pick at each other and love each other stick up for each other and tattle and all of the things that all brothers and sisters do. Regardless, they just love each other fiercely.
Some days it feels like she has been here much longer. She is so intertwined with my heart that surely she has been here forever.
Other days, it feels like the time has flown. Wasn't it only yesterday that I held this little toddler who cried until I gave her back to Baba? Surely it was only a few months ago (years?) that we turned onto our street and heard that sweet deep voice say "home" for the first time. I have gotten out of the habit of posting updates because there is very little "adoption" or "special needs" stuff to post about anymore. She is my normal, four-year-old daughter, who still goes to speech therapy and still says, "Rock, Mama," before bed. But I still feel the need to record her progress, if for no other reason than to say - Look how amazing my girl is!
School/Speech Issues: Kate is now attending preschool three mornings a week. She even rides the bus home every now and then, which she thought she would totally love, but it turns out it is only ok. She is unbelievably smart. She can write her name with amazing penmanship, holding her pencil better than her brothers do now.
Her class has several other kids with speech issues, and so the speech and language pathologist spends a lot of her time in the classroom working/playing with groups. This works out well for us, because it means the speech teacher interacts with Kate NaNa more often than she would if Kate was just getting her 30 minutes a week required by law. I can see (and hear) the progress - I am with her so much that sometimes I would be oblivious if I didn't intentionally slow down and listen for it. But it is definitely there.
Cleft Issues:
At our last visit with the plastic surgeon (December?) he was very pleased with how much Kate's cleft had healed. The lip was repaired in China, and he did the palate in January 2009. There is still a good-sized hole in the gum line that won't be repaired until she is about seven years old. It is an impediment to some speech sounds, but mostly it just bothers her when she has a runny nose. (Guess where the snot goes.) She has totally conquered the straw, which I had worried would never happen. It turns out chocolate milk at school is a wonderful motivation.
Hearing/Ears:
She is on her third set of ear tubes. Hearing-wise, I noticed a couple of months ago that she wasn't hearing 100% (she has some very minor hearing loss, but this was something more), but I also knew that there was so much wax in those little ears that she couldn't hear a mac truck. The ENT cleaned out her ears at the last visit (which was very tear-filled), and I have seen some improvement, although I think it may be time for another visit to the audiologist. Amazingly, she only had one ear infection this winter. Her left tube fell out back in the fall, and the right ear got a little infected a few weeks ago, but I was able to treat it with some drops.
*Update 4/16/11 - She was diagnosed with an ear infection in the left ear today. Last night she spiked a fever, so that's how I figured out there was something going on. The doc said it was "bulging really bad." I have a feeling that she had it two weeks ago when we treated the right ear, but she doesn't feel any ear pain, so we didn't know the left ear was affected. I'm frustrated with myself for missing it.
Attachment/Adoption Issues: Currently we are having no attachment issues. (Can I get an amen?) She has appropriate separation behaviors (she is ok with me dropping her somewhere and happy to see me come back), when something is wrong she comes to me for help, she has learned to trust me, etc. I think I am creating an environment where she feels comfortable talking about her story and asking questions.
For example, I talk to her about China and adoption, and I bring up her first mother and foster mom occasionally. She doesn't usually have a lot to say when I do, except to get really excited about China, but she has started figuring things out. And she asks questions, like, "Mama, when did Mimi go to China to adopt you?" which led to an explanation of birth and adoption. Another question she asked recently was, "Mama, how did you carry two boys in your tummy?" which of course led to an explanation of what twins are and how her brothers aren't twins and what happens when babies are born. (Thankfully she hasn't asked how babies get into tummies yet.) These are all normal questions for a four-year-old, so I am glad she feels good about asking them.
Sleep Issues:
I used to roll this over into adoption issues, and I suppose I still could, technically. But now the issues seem to be age-appropriate rather than clingy/needy/grief-filled behaviors. She now goes to sleep in her own bed without us in the room. This is huge, people. However, about 2am, she gets out of bed, creeps into our room, and crawls into her pallet. We find her there the next morning. Will used to do the same at this age, but he decided his bed was much better than a quilt on the floor. She would rather be near us, and that is ok. She told me a couple weeks ago that, "It's not fair, because Ben gets to sleep next to Will, and Daddy gets you, and I don't have nobody!"
Siblings:
Well, they are siblings. I probably wouldn't feel the need to even address it here, except for the fact that I still get asked if they get along or not. I don't know--do your kids get along every waking moment? They fight and make up and pick at each other and love each other stick up for each other and tattle and all of the things that all brothers and sisters do. Regardless, they just love each other fiercely.
She is bossy and sassy and shy and hilarious and cuddly, and she calls me out for being mean on a regular basis. Mostly I am just amazed at how resilient and brave and creative and amazing my Kate NaNa is. I am so thankful for you, baby girl!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
A Family Prayer
I have never been much for celebrating Lent. Growing up, my family didn't celebrate. My church didn't even mention it. And I grew up pretty oblivious. Easter and Palm Sunday were big stinkin' deals, but Lent was not on my radar.
Last year, Tim followed a Lent calender that wasn't so much about giving stuff up as it was about doing for others and just stopping and paying attention to the season. This year he decided to create a family Lent calendar for our church. Everyday has a different activity for the family to do together. It has been a challenge, and I'm not gonna lie - we haven't done it everyday. Some days are easy, like participate in a hobby the children enjoy. Others are harder, like not using sarcasm for a day. (Ouch.)
One day the instructions were, "Write a prayer about how you would like to see your family grow." So the five of us sat down and took turns writing down our prayers for our family.
I am so thankful for my precious family.
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