Two and a Half Years Ago

It amazes me that this is how long I have known my daughter.

Some days it feels like she has been here much longer. She is so intertwined with my heart that surely she has been here forever. Other days, it feels like the time has flown. Wasn't it only yesterday that I held this little toddler who cried until I gave her back to Baba? Surely it was only a few months ago (years?) that we turned onto our street and heard that sweet deep voice say "home" for the first time.

I have gotten out of the habit of posting updates because there is very little "adoption" or "special needs" stuff to post about anymore. She is my normal, four-year-old daughter, who still goes to speech therapy and still says, "Rock, Mama," before bed. But I still feel the need to record her progress, if for no other reason than to say - Look how amazing my girl is! School/Speech Issues:
Kate is now attending preschool three mornings a week. She even rides the bus home every now and then, which she thought she would totally love, but it turns out it is only ok. She is unbelievably smart. She can write her name with amazing penmanship, holding her pencil better than her brothers do now.

Her class has several other kids with speech issues, and so the speech and language pathologist spends a lot of her time in the classroom working/playing with groups. This works out well for us, because it means the speech teacher interacts with Kate NaNa more often than she would if Kate was just getting her 30 minutes a week required by law. I can see (and hear) the progress - I am with her so much that sometimes I would be oblivious if I didn't intentionally slow down and listen for it. But it is definitely there.

Cleft Issues:
At our last visit with the plastic surgeon (December?) he was very pleased with how much Kate's cleft had healed. The lip was repaired in China, and he did the palate in January 2009. There is still a good-sized hole in the gum line that won't be repaired until she is about seven years old. It is an impediment to some speech sounds, but mostly it just bothers her when she has a runny nose. (Guess where the snot goes.) She has totally conquered the straw, which I had worried would never happen. It turns out chocolate milk at school is a wonderful motivation.

Hearing/Ears:
She is on her third set of ear tubes. Hearing-wise, I noticed a couple of months ago that she wasn't hearing 100% (she has some very minor hearing loss, but this was something more), but I also knew that there was so much wax in those little ears that she couldn't hear a mac truck. The ENT cleaned out her ears at the last visit (which was very tear-filled), and I have seen some improvement, although I think it may be time for another visit to the audiologist. Amazingly, she only had one ear infection this winter. Her left tube fell out back in the fall, and the right ear got a little infected a few weeks ago, but I was able to treat it with some drops.

*Update 4/16/11 - She was diagnosed with an ear infection in the left ear today. Last night she spiked a fever, so that's how I figured out there was something going on. The doc said it was "bulging really bad." I have a feeling that she had it two weeks ago when we treated the right ear, but she doesn't feel any ear pain, so we didn't know the left ear was affected. I'm frustrated with myself for missing it.
Attachment/Adoption Issues:
Currently we are having no attachment issues. (Can I get an amen?) She has appropriate separation behaviors (she is ok with me dropping her somewhere and happy to see me come back), when something is wrong she comes to me for help, she has learned to trust me, etc. I think I am creating an environment where she feels comfortable talking about her story and asking questions.

For example, I talk to her about China and adoption, and I bring up her first mother and foster mom occasionally. She doesn't usually have a lot to say when I do, except to get really excited about China, but she has started figuring things out. And she asks questions, like, "Mama, when did Mimi go to China to adopt you?" which led to an explanation of birth and adoption. Another question she asked recently was, "Mama, how did you carry two boys in your tummy?" which of course led to an explanation of what twins are and how her brothers aren't twins and what happens when babies are born. (Thankfully she hasn't asked how babies get into tummies yet.) These are all normal questions for a four-year-old, so I am glad she feels good about asking them.

Sleep Issues:
I used to roll this over into adoption issues, and I suppose I still could, technically. But now the issues seem to be age-appropriate rather than clingy/needy/grief-filled behaviors. She now goes to sleep in her own bed without us in the room. This is huge, people. However, about 2am, she gets out of bed, creeps into our room, and crawls into her pallet. We find her there the next morning. Will used to do the same at this age, but he decided his bed was much better than a quilt on the floor. She would rather be near us, and that is ok. She told me a couple weeks ago that, "It's not fair, because Ben gets to sleep next to Will, and Daddy gets you, and I don't have nobody!"

Siblings:
Well, they are siblings. I probably wouldn't feel the need to even address it here, except for the fact that I still get asked if they get along or not. I don't know--do your kids get along every waking moment? They fight and make up and pick at each other and love each other stick up for each other and tattle and all of the things that all brothers and sisters do. Regardless, they just love each other fiercely.

She is bossy and sassy and shy and hilarious and cuddly, and she calls me out for being mean on a regular basis. Mostly I am just amazed at how resilient and brave and creative and amazing my Kate NaNa is. I am so thankful for you, baby girl!