Processing

The other day I was looking at a picture of a little boy with unrepaired cleft lip/palate on the LWB Facebook page. I try to expose Kate to this often, because the first dozen or so times she saw an unrepaired lip, she was really squeamish about the whole thing. She is now getting to the point of being able to see it as a part of herself and not feeling yucky about it.

Kate (in a happy voice) - Ooh, he has cleft palate!
Me - Yes, you had that when you were born, didn't you?
Kate - Mommy, did I come out of your belly?
Me - No, sweetie, you came out of your first mama's belly. She is Chinese like you.
Kate - What is her name?
Me - I don't know. I wish I knew, but I don't. If I knew her I would tell her how wonderful you are and thank her for giving birth to you.
Kate - When can we go back to China and find her name?
Me - I don't know. I don't know if we could ever find her. Maybe no one knows who your first mama is except for God.
Kate - Is He that boy who died on the cross?
Me - Yes, Jesus died on the cross.
Kate - Can we watch that movie again (referring to the Miracle Maker)? I liked that.
Me - Yes, dear, we can watch the movie about Jesus again.

Sigh.

In seconds, I went from pride because she was happy to see a face with cleft lip, to sadness for her that we don't know who her first mama is, to giggling silently because she referred to Jesus as "that boy who died on the cross."

One thing I am sure of, is that with Kate life will always be an adventure.