Back to the Real World...

A few weeks ago I had a little breakdown. It was very little, but still. Basically I am a person who really needs my alone time. I like to have a minute (or more:) to catch my breath. I might use this for various purposes... maybe I will veg out reading blogs or watching TV, maybe I will get lost in a good book, maybe I will do my quiet time (after 6 years with children, I still have not figured out how to do that consistently without hearing "M o m !" in the middle of it, which totally breaks my concentration. And don't tell me to get up earlier. I have tried that and two things happen - Will gets up with me, and I fall asleep reading my Bible. But I digress... maybe this is fodder for another post.).

So I had spent over an hour putting my daughter, whom I adore, to bed. I came out of her room and basically begged my husband to put the kids in the car and take them to his parents' house. I was tired. I spend every waking hour with them or doing something for them, and I needed a break. Now, don't get me wrong. I am doing exactly what I want to do. I do not regret being a SAHM, even though I sometimes wish I had an office where I could lock the door and pretend I was out to lunch. But imagine for a moment that you had your dream job. And now imagine that said job required you to be there 15 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your co-workers are with you 14 of those hours, and they even go the bathroom with you. Sometimes they wake you up in the middle of the night for an emergency "meeting". Seriously. Who wouldn't need a vacation every now and then?

I know some of you will think I am exaggerating, and I am, but only a little. When Tim is home, I am still at work. When I leave them at home with him, I am usually doing something "work" related like grocery shopping. The point is, moms are always working. And moms who work outside the home have to do it all in less time, on top of their "regular" jobs. So forgive me when I get a little stressed out and need a break.

Anyway, Tim took the kids to his parents' on Friday night and they stayed until Saturday night. I was so excited about this alone time that when he got home from work I had the kids fed, dressed, diapered (or pottied), water poured for the trip, and bags in the car. I did my happy dance as they pulled out of the driveway.

You would think that I then did something fun, but alas, no, my floors were covered in food from the meal I just fed the kids, and the bathrooms were covered in... well, I have 2 boys, so you get the idea. So I grabbed my MP3 player and cleaned my heart out. Then I watched TV on the computer to catch up on my shows (which is often how I watch TV).

I slept all night without interruption - no 4 year olds telling me they have to potty - and got up really late on Saturday. I had planned on doing something relaxing with my day. A movie? Lunch with a friend? Apparently I have lost the ability to to do something for myself, because I ended up cleaning up the stacks of paperwork that have accumulated since Kate came home. Stacks of bills, adoption paperwork, tax related stuff... you get the idea. Then I tried to hang some pictures in my house, which I am terrible at (Shel, where are you?!). The good news is that my dresser is now completely cleaned off, but I feel like a failure at relaxation. On the one hand, I really didn't want to go anywhere, but still. I am trying to focus on the fact that I will now feel more relaxed here because that is one more job I can cross off my to-do list.

This morning I was awakened at 6:45 by a 4 year old who was crying because he wasn't wearing the pj's he wanted. Then, Ben started throwing up (a bug from Kate) and other fun stuff. I spent the morning running between Ben, who obviously needed me, and Kate and Will, who did not want to get dressed for church. I dropped them off for church, ran home to clean up Ben (who had thrown up in the van, thankfully in a bag), and set him up on the couch. I fixed lunch, and when Kate got home she helped by spreading the diced tomatoes all over the kitchen table for me. Will helped by having a temper tantrum because his potato head was missing a part (thankfully, Tim dealt with that one). I have already washed dishes twice today and done a load of really gross laundry. So, I guess my vacation is over. Oh well, back to reality.

My SIL Wendy took this picture of Kate over the weekend, and I thought it was really good. Hopefully she won't mind me sharing... For the record, I did miss my family, but do you think I could send them all away next weekend too?