New Normal, Part 2

Except for brief excursions to get food, the kids and I have been home for 10 days now. The first two were a weekend, and we all layed about, glad to relax and have nowhere to go. My father-in-law, Tim, and Will returned from a choir trip, and we were excited to watch church online.

Monday and Tuesday I dove into making online or phone contact with students.  Some wanted to avoid me, but most were eager to set up a mentoring session via Zoom. It was exhausting, but productive. My own kids were likewise eager to finish their work and hang out together afterwards.

But Wednesday, I hit a wall. Emotionally. Physically. Everything. Late Tuesday night a colleague commented that she felt like we were out of school for the year. In my head I knew this was a possibility, but to hear someone say it was like a gut punch. Teaching students in person is hard y'all. It is hard to engage every student all day. But to engage students remotely? That is soooo much harder. There will always be those who do their work. But there are students who are already disengaged... all the more so when we aren't physically together.

If I am being honest, I am not so much upset about lost content and disengagement (which I am, but less so). I am mostly upset because I feel adrift and disconnected when I don't see students everyday. I miss them. I miss my colleagues. I miss the custodians and cafeteria workers. I miss the office staff. I miss my other home. I am homesick for them. I have wept over them.

My own children also hit their own walls at various times between Wednesday and Friday. They have grieved their losses like I have, and will likely continue to do so in their own ways. They miss their friends and teachers and routines too.

And have I mentioned I have been sick? More on that in a later post. Suffice it to say I am so, so tired. Which was honestly unexpected during NTI.

A weekend of rest came and went, and today I am back at it, working from home. Today my expectations are a little more tempered. Today my children are finding a groove. We will figure this out. We will find a way through this. We all may need therapy when it is over, but we will find our way.

New Normal

It's been a long time since I've blogged. A lot has changed. I have a full time job teaching. I have 3 teenagers in my house. We have a different house.  Half the links on my side bar no longer function. Lol.

But a lot has stayed the same. Tim is still working at the church. He is still my favorite. My kids still amaze me and crack me up and drive me bananas. Our parents are all healthy. All good things.

So why pick this up again and log in for the first time in almost 5 years? Because of our new normal. We, along with so many other people, are social distancing. If I use the word quarantine I might go crazy, so social distancing it is. And I desperately need a space to process this new normal. I don't know how long it will last, or what the world will look like when we re-emerge from this strange cocoon. I don't know if anyone will ever read this or how long I will use this as an outlet. But I know that blogging kept me sane when I was adopting. I would pour out my heart and my tears because this is how I express myself. And I am fighting for a way to put my thoughts and feelings into words that are not screaming craziness. I don't know. Sometimes my blogs might sound like screaming craziness. We shall see.

So if you run across this and want to read along, that's fine. But I am doing this for me. Because I need it. And I am fighting for a new normal that can sustain me for the long haul.

Recently Jack has been somewhat obsessed with some of his body parts that many little boys become obsessed with.  Yes, those body parts. 

One day as we were driving home we went over a bump, and he giggled and told me it had tickled his pen!s (word masked for crazy search engine results).  He then went on to ask me if various people in his life also had a pen!s.  Yes, your daddy has one. Yes, Ben has one. Yes, Will has one.  All questions that my other boys asked at the same age.

And then things got interesting.

Jack: Does Kate have a pen!s?
Me: No, she is a girl. She doesn't have one.
Jack: (Giggling uncontrollably) Yes, she does!  Everybody has one!
Me: (Trying reeeeally hard not to laugh) No, only boys have those.  Girls don't have one.
Jack: What about Aunt Table?  Does she have one?
Me: No, she doesn't have one either.  She is a girl.
Jack: What about you?  Do you have a pen!s?
Me: No, I am a girl. I don't have one either.

We drove on for another couple of minutes with him chattering away, but as we pulled into the driveway he asks me, "So you don't have a pen!s?"
Me: Nope, I sure don't.
Jack: You gonna get that fixed?

Let's just say he keeps us on our toes.

A Fall/Winter/Spring Photo Recap, Part 2

As I was saying, I missed a lot of stuff that has happened in the last few months.  Moving right along.

1. Will played piano in the school talent show in January.

2. It snowed again. We went sledding.

3. In March Jack had a spankin' new set of ear tubes put in.  All went well.  Home by lunch.

4. Ben placed second in the district Governor's Cup competition for social studies.

5. Kate took gymnastics.

6. Ben did a self portrait for the school art show.

7. Will rocked the conga drums at the third grade Arts and Humanities Night.

 And he danced to "Dynamite."  So awesome.

8. And the three big kids are taking swim lessons to work on strokes and diving.  Good stuff.

9. We celebrated Jack Yintao Day in April.  My little tiger got a new tiger hat.  How is it possible that he has been home two years?  And could he be any stinking cuter? 

 10. Jack decided on a new favorite pose for whenever I get the camera out.

We are all super happy that the snow is now behind us.  (Please, Lord, let it be behind us.)  And we are already making plans for a smashing summer. 

A Fall/Winter/Spring Photo Recap...Because I Haven't Blogged in a Million Years

This has been the longest winter in the history of winters.  Ever.  It snowed every month from November to April, and that is a lot of snow for this Southern girl!  I kept hoping the thermostat would get above 12 degrees and spring would arrive.  It took it's sweet little time, but it finally did. 

And you would think that all that indoor time would allow me to clean my house or blog or write a novel or something awesome, but all I wanted to do was curl up under three blankets and binge-watch television shows on the computer.  So that's mostly what I did.  Except when I was working on my graduate classes.  Or when the kids were home for snow days.  Which was a lot.  Really. On those days we spent a lot of time at the library.  I think the kids have read through every Peanuts and Garfield comic ever written.  And thank you local public library for having the sense to carry such wonder things in very large books.

So, what have I missed blogging about on the 182 days of snow? Everything.

1. Kate became an expert bike rider last fall, but I didn't manage to get a decent picture of it until November.  Because I am that awesome.

2. Kate's first grade class studied Chinese New Year and performed a ribbon dance for the whole school.  She was amazing, of course.

 3. My kids love each other, even when they are fighting like cats and dogs.  Unfortunately the cats and dogs thing is more common than not.  Thankfully I caught them on a day when they were all getting along.  (I am sure someone got whacked on the head minutes after I put the camera away.)

4. Did I mention it snowed a lot?  This was one of the early days before we actually got bored with snow.

5.  The three bigs were in the church Christmas play.  They sang together as a trio and were 1940's kids who also dressed up like wise men with lampshades and hub caps.  I can't remember why.

 6. We celebrated Christmas, of course!  (I think they have already grown about 2 inches each since I took this picture.)  The favorite gifts this year were video games, puzzles, and books. 

7. In January Will told us that he had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior and wanted to be baptized.  We were thrilled and celebrated with him.  And Tim got to do the honors.  After which, we attempted to get a family photo, which only proved that we are not good at group shots.

8. It snowed some more. The kids built a snowman.

9. I celebrated my 20 year high school reunion.  It was awesome and weird at the same time.  That's what growing old is like.  And now you all know how old I am.  (I would post the group shot, but the photographer didn't push the button down hard enough.  I'm looking at you, Cooper.)

10.  Kate played basketball and had a blast doing it.

There is more, but for some reason the kids think I should fix dinner.  I guess they are hungry or something.  See, this is why I don't blog.  Next thing they will want clean clothes or something crazy like that.  Maybe I will write up the rest before the leaves fall off the trees.  Everyone hold your breath.

Happy Easter!

Christ is risen!

 He is risen indeed!

Jack was totally into the egg hunt this year and all about the candy!  Will and Kate of course wanted to beat each other at collecting the most eggs.  And Ben surprised me by still being really excited about finding eggs.  I don't know how much longer my pre-teen will want to do "kid" stuff, but I am thankful for days like today when we can worship and play as a family. 

Happy Christmas... Or ummm, Halloween?

Even though we have switched holidays several times, I can't continue to let the days pass without posting my kids' awesome Halloween costumes this year. 

Ben had his heart set on being Harry Potter.  He had wanted this costume for a long time.  This was the year he finally talked his dad into buying it.  He was the perfect Harry, messy hair and all.

Will really wanted to be Harry Potter too, but you can't have two Harry Potters in one family, so he decided to be a Death Eater instead.  The only problem was that they only make adult-sized Death Eater costumes.  So Will, being the creative genius that he is, found his Dad's hooded wool coat, made his own Death Eater mask with poster board, pencil (yes, he drew that himself), and glitter, and voila, Death Eater.  He and Harry battled all night.

   
Kate wasn't sure what she wanted to be.  She ended wearing a Pete the Cat costume to school for "Literature Day," but wanted a different costume for Trick-or-Treating.  When digging out the coat for Will, I came across my old black leather jacket and suggested she be one of the girl bikers from her current fave movie, Teen Beach Movie.  She said no, she wanted to be the biker gang leader, Butchy.  She came up with this costume all on her own.  Old black vest, my old sunglasses, black gloves with the fingers cut off: check, check, and check. 

Jack changed his mind 47 times before he put his costume on.  Thankfully I have a large stash of preschool dress-up clothes.  Dragon? Bob the Builder? Buzz Lightyear? Woody? He seriously considered them all before deciding on Puppy Dog. Good choice, son, even if you won't wear the hood.

And then there was Tim.  A ceiling fan.  Geddit? And notice Jack decided to be a dragon this time around, still sans hood.  Throw in a cute kitty cat and a super hero to make it a wonderful Halloween.

And for the record, when did Halloween start lasting a whole week?  Sunday they had a choir party, Wednesday was Trunk-or-Treat at church, Thursday was "Literature Day," and the actual Trick-or-Treating was postponed until Friday because of dangerously high winds.  It seriously makes for some crazy children when Halloween gets celebrated four times over the course of six days. I think it is time to scale it back, Muhrica.