New Normal, Part 2

Except for brief excursions to get food, the kids and I have been home for 10 days now. The first two were a weekend, and we all layed about, glad to relax and have nowhere to go. My father-in-law, Tim, and Will returned from a choir trip, and we were excited to watch church online.

Monday and Tuesday I dove into making online or phone contact with students.  Some wanted to avoid me, but most were eager to set up a mentoring session via Zoom. It was exhausting, but productive. My own kids were likewise eager to finish their work and hang out together afterwards.

But Wednesday, I hit a wall. Emotionally. Physically. Everything. Late Tuesday night a colleague commented that she felt like we were out of school for the year. In my head I knew this was a possibility, but to hear someone say it was like a gut punch. Teaching students in person is hard y'all. It is hard to engage every student all day. But to engage students remotely? That is soooo much harder. There will always be those who do their work. But there are students who are already disengaged... all the more so when we aren't physically together.

If I am being honest, I am not so much upset about lost content and disengagement (which I am, but less so). I am mostly upset because I feel adrift and disconnected when I don't see students everyday. I miss them. I miss my colleagues. I miss the custodians and cafeteria workers. I miss the office staff. I miss my other home. I am homesick for them. I have wept over them.

My own children also hit their own walls at various times between Wednesday and Friday. They have grieved their losses like I have, and will likely continue to do so in their own ways. They miss their friends and teachers and routines too.

And have I mentioned I have been sick? More on that in a later post. Suffice it to say I am so, so tired. Which was honestly unexpected during NTI.

A weekend of rest came and went, and today I am back at it, working from home. Today my expectations are a little more tempered. Today my children are finding a groove. We will figure this out. We will find a way through this. We all may need therapy when it is over, but we will find our way.