Guess who learned to suck through a straw today?

Apparently Strawberries Wild from Jamba Juice is a great motivator.  Either that or the desire to do every single thing that his brothers and sister do.  Take your pick.

Yay, Jack!

Happy Birthday Kate (and Happy Kate NaNa Day too)

Many of you who hang out here already know this, but October is a big month for Kate.  Her birthday, date of abandonment, Kate NaNa Day, and her adoption day all fall within 12 days of each other.  And for those of you schooled in adoption issues, you know that means lots of different emotions crammed into a very small window.  This topic could probably be a post all of its own, but suffice it to say that she experiences excitement, grief, joy, and deep introspection - often all within about an hour.  Those of you who have witnessed a child grieve, you know they express it in many ways.  Kate is no exception. Her heart aches at the thought that she will never meet her first parents or see her foster mother again. She tells me that she misses China and wants to visit again soon.  Her feelings are valid, because it is sad to lose those things. Yet she still loves us deeply, despite (or perhaps because of) her grief and loss.  Adoption is complicated and messy and beautiful and redeeming all rolled into one big ball.  For Kate it just all comes at the same time. 

Anyway, the first of these big days comes in mid-October, when we celebrate Kate NaNa Day.  This was the four year anniversary of when we met our girl.  In our family it is a tradition that we go out to eat Chinese food, and then Tim and I give her a small gift that we bought for her in China.  This year it was a purple change purse at P.F. Chang's.

 

Ten days later her birthday (which also happens to be her date of citizenship) rolled around, and she wanted to celebrate with pizza and video games.  It was a good night for prizes. 

And last but not least, we had her birthday party the following weekend. For her party, she requested chocolate cake and Chinese dumplings.  We make the dumplings, or jiaozi, from scratch.  So with about 25 people at the party, that was a lot of dumplings.  Chinese families often make these together during celebrations, so I decided to insert some Chinese tradition into the party. Most people who attended learned to make them. I had the filling mixed and ready, and the guests helped roll, fill, crimp, and fry the dumplings. It was a huge undertaking for everyone, but it was a lot of fun and delicious.  They were a big hit.

I also managed to make my first chocolate cake from scratch.  Our family tries to buy only fair trade chocolate, but it was a challenge to find a good scratch recipe.  My aunt ended up mailing me her favorite one for a chocolate cinnamon cake, which was a big hit.  I love the icing so much it makes me want to cry.

As I was putting her to bed the night of the party, Kate told me, "That was my best party day I ever had."  I was glad, and asked her what she liked about it.  "I got a Hello Kitty alarm clock, Daddy set off firecrackers, and I got to eat my dumplings."  Add a lot of friends and family to that equation, and it really was a wonderful day.

Kate,
I love you sweet girl, and I love being your mama.  I am glad you have a tender heart and process everything deeply. It is such a wonderful part of who you are and how you care about other people.  You are a joy to parent, and I can't wait to see all of the amazing things you will do with your life.  And if you really do move back to China when you are a grown up, I will still come and visit you - probably more than you like:)

Overwhelmed.

If I had to pick one word to describe the last four weeks (yep, almost a month during which I haven't blogged), it would be overwhelming. 

While I sometimes like to write with lightheartedness or sarcasm, other times I feel that vulnerability and honesty are the better way.  October (and September, if I am being truthful) calls for that. 

Overwhelming.

I am overwhelmed with the number of appointments. My kids and/or I have had appointments with plastic surgeons, ophthalmologists, optometrists, ENTs, audiologists, orthodontists, dentists, speech and language pathologists, OB/GYNs, teachers, and pediatricians. I think we are currently averaging around five appointments a week.

I am overwhelmed with my kids activities.  Individually, it really isn't that much, but since there are four of them, it feels like more.  This fall the three big kids played soccer.  This winter Kate and Will are playing basketball.  Ben is on the academic team.  Ben and Kate want (and really should) take swimming lessons (and I am sure I will force Will to go as well).  Will and Kate also are in Bible Club at school.  Ben has an important role in the church Christmas play (which thankfully requires very little effort on my part), and Kate and Will are in the younger kids choir.  For now, I go to Sunday school with Jack to help him feel comfortable and safe, which we are thiiiisss close to achieving. 

I am overwhelmed by the pain of those that I love.  There are multiple people in my life who are hurting, and I want to fix everything for them.  I can't.  I can listen. I can hug.  I can pray. I can cook.  But I can't fix anything. (And those of you who are in that pain, please don't stop calling me.  I will worry about you whether you call me or not.  Talking to you actually helps. I mean it.)

I am overwhelmed by laundry, gardening, dirty floors, dirty toilets, disobedient children, screaming children (mostly one in particular), home repairs, phone calls, husbands who work around 50 hours a week, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, birthday parties, homework, children's church, political debates, and committee meetings.

But.

And this is a big but;)

I am also overwhelmed with the support I am getting from those I love.  My friends and family have been incredibly supportive of me and my family through all of the stuff I wrote about above.  They have let me vent, cry, and stomp my foot.  And then they make me laugh.  They cook for me and my children.  They help me make plans to make my life easier and talk through my options and give me their honest opinions.  Between my family, my college roommates, my book club, my fellow adoptive parents, and my friends who live thousands of miles away but still call to check on me on a regular basis, I am overwhelmed with support.

I am overwhelmed with joy spending time with my small group at church.  I, along with two other amazing women, work with teen girls each week.  These girls rock.  They are smart, funny, passionate, and compassionate, I can't believe I get to sit and laugh with them every week. 

I am overwhelmed with love.  Because even though we are crazy busy, my kids still take time to crawl up in my lap (or rather, my arms since I am not usually sitting) and tell me that they love me.  My husband still makes me feel beautiful and smart. And my God still reminds me Every. Single. Day. that He is in control of all of this.  Love. 

So, yes, I am overwhelmed.  With good, bad, and in between.  But it is all good.  And this too shall pass.  In about sixteen years.  I really have an amazing life.  If a tad overwhelming at the moment.

Now I Remember...

All day long I have felt like I was forgetting something.  I have been wracking my brain.  Appointment? No.  Phone calls that need to be made? Made them and still didn't shake it.  Soccer game? Not until Saturday.

Just now I got an email from a family waiting for their TA so they can go get their little boy.  They asked me a timeline question, so I hopped over here to my blog, where my adoption timeline still lives down there in the bottom right-hand column.

And there it was.  On September 27, 2011, I got an email with FW: Adam: Su, Yin Tao in the subject line.  And I knew.  I knew it was a kid from Suzhou.  I knew it was my son.  I opened up the email and saw this face:

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon.  Everyone was headed home for the afternoon.  Within an hour I had left a frantic message on the voicemail of our agency rep, called the agency that sent me the email (different from our agency) and left them a message, and called my husband. Within 24 hours I had found his finding ad online with another picture and had consulted with an SLP, a pediatrician, and an audiologist.  Of course, it took until October 3 before we were able to lock him in.  But on September 27, 2012, I knew. 

Jack, I am so glad that God directed our steps to you.  You bring our family so much joy.  I love you more every day. 

Because they will outgrow these before the end of winter...

All About Kate

I seem to have several short, Kate-centric anecdotes to share, so I thought I would combine them all into one post.

Story number 1:
Kate has lost her first two (non-cleft related) teeth.  The first one came out while she was playing July 2 at her buddy Olivia's house. (Yes, I am a belated blogger.) It was so loose I could've plucked it right out, but she insisted she wanted it to "just fall out."  And it did.  It bled a little bit, and she cried.  I asked her if it hurt, and she said that it didn't.  So then I asked her why she was crying.  She looked at me and said, "Oh, yeah," and immediately stopped crying and gave me a huge smile.

 

The second one came out between Sunday school and church one Sunday in August.  It just fell out.  No crying this time.  The end.

Story number 2:

Kate loves soccer.  In the spring she played in the 6-7 league with her brother because a) It meant less driving for me and b) She can totally hold her own.  So even though big brother Will moved up to the 8-10 league this fall, we left her in the 6-7 league, even though she is only 5 1/2. On Monday she played in the pouring rain (no lightening at all), and scored her first two goals ever!  The team won 5-2, and she was very proud of herself.

Story number 3:
At school, Kate was nominated for the "Take Pride In Your Work" award. When she came home with the paper and a note from the principal, I bragged on her and talked to her about what that award meant.  I thought she understood it, until her Mimi called an hour later.

Me: Kate, your Mimi is on the phone.  Come here and tell her what your award is for.
Kate: (shrugs) Being a little Chinese person?

Apparently I have done such a thorough job of instilling ethnic pride in my daughter that she thinks she gets awards for it.  Either that, or she has more personality than I know what to do with.

Story number 4:
Will wants me to add that he just taught her to play piano without any lessons.  Seriously, she is downstairs playing a song he taught her.  Good job, Will and Kate!

Jack: Two Weeks Post-Op

Thankfully Jack is on a solid diet now.  We are still keeping it fairly soft (no pretzels because Mama is mean like that), but he is mostly eating regular foods.  If he could talk, I am pretty sure he would say that he is never leaving the kitchen table ever again, thankyouverymuch.  He is that obsessed with food. He thinks about it all. the. time.

Also thankfully, his signing vocabulary has probably doubled since his surgery.  He was already signing more and milk, with an occasional - water, up, and down - thrown in there.  He now signs water all the time, and also signs: banana, food, shoes, socks, and please. We are very impressed.  And he is very impressed with himself.  There is something magical about that moment when a child realizes that he can communicate what he wants, and that mom and dad Understand! It is beautiful.

We are still watching one of those spots in his repaired palate to make sure it isn't a fistula, but no amount of watching will make it be or not be a fistula.  So I am trying my best to leave him alone and wait for the surgeon to look at it again in two weeks.

I have lost track of how many health care professionals my children have seen in the past month.  Seriously.  Dentists, surgeons, speech therapists.  I am not a soccer mom.  I am a waiting room mom.  Go team.

And now for some pictures.  I took these about a month ago, but forgot to post them.  I was probably in a waiting room when I should have been posting.