Many of you who hang out here already know this, but October is a big month for Kate. Her birthday, date of abandonment, Kate NaNa Day, and her adoption day all fall within 12 days of each other. And for those of you schooled in adoption issues, you know that means lots of different emotions crammed into a very small window. This topic could probably be a post all of its own, but suffice it to say that she experiences excitement, grief, joy, and deep introspection - often all within about an hour. Those of you who have witnessed a child grieve, you know they express it in many ways. Kate is no exception. Her heart aches at the thought that she will never meet her first parents or see her foster mother again. She tells me that she misses China and wants to visit again soon. Her feelings are valid, because it is sad to lose those things. Yet she still loves us deeply, despite (or perhaps because of) her grief and loss. Adoption is complicated and messy and beautiful and redeeming all rolled into one big ball. For Kate it just all comes at the same time.
Anyway, the first of these big days comes in mid-October, when we celebrate Kate NaNa Day. This was the four year anniversary of when we met our girl. In our family it is a tradition that we go out to eat Chinese food, and then Tim and I give her a small gift that we bought for her in China. This year it was a purple change purse at P.F. Chang's.
Ten days later her birthday (which also happens to be her date of citizenship) rolled around, and she wanted to celebrate with pizza and video games. It was a good night for prizes.
And last but not least, we had her birthday party the following weekend. For her party, she requested chocolate cake and Chinese dumplings. We make the
dumplings, or jiaozi,
from scratch. So with about 25 people at the party, that was a lot of
dumplings. Chinese families
often make these together during celebrations, so I decided to insert some Chinese tradition into the party. Most people who attended learned to make them. I had the filling mixed
and ready, and the guests helped
roll, fill, crimp, and fry the dumplings. It was a huge undertaking for everyone, but it was a lot of fun and delicious. They were a big hit.
I also managed to make my first chocolate cake from scratch. Our family
tries to buy only fair trade chocolate, but it was a challenge to find a
good scratch recipe. My aunt ended up mailing me her favorite one for a chocolate cinnamon cake,
which was a big hit. I love the icing so much it makes me want to cry.
As I was putting her to bed the night of the party, Kate told me, "That was my best party day I ever had." I was glad, and asked her what she liked about it. "I got a Hello Kitty alarm clock, Daddy set off firecrackers, and I got to eat my dumplings." Add a lot of friends and family to that equation, and it really was a wonderful day.
Kate,
I love you sweet girl, and I love being your mama. I am glad you have a tender heart and process everything deeply. It is such a wonderful part of who you are and how you care about other people. You are a joy to parent, and I can't wait to see all of the amazing things you will do with your life. And if you really do move back to China when you are a grown up, I will still come and visit you - probably more than you like:)
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