Ukelele Kate

Two and a Half Years Ago

It amazes me that this is how long I have known my daughter.

Some days it feels like she has been here much longer. She is so intertwined with my heart that surely she has been here forever. Other days, it feels like the time has flown. Wasn't it only yesterday that I held this little toddler who cried until I gave her back to Baba? Surely it was only a few months ago (years?) that we turned onto our street and heard that sweet deep voice say "home" for the first time.

I have gotten out of the habit of posting updates because there is very little "adoption" or "special needs" stuff to post about anymore. She is my normal, four-year-old daughter, who still goes to speech therapy and still says, "Rock, Mama," before bed. But I still feel the need to record her progress, if for no other reason than to say - Look how amazing my girl is! School/Speech Issues:
Kate is now attending preschool three mornings a week. She even rides the bus home every now and then, which she thought she would totally love, but it turns out it is only ok. She is unbelievably smart. She can write her name with amazing penmanship, holding her pencil better than her brothers do now.

Her class has several other kids with speech issues, and so the speech and language pathologist spends a lot of her time in the classroom working/playing with groups. This works out well for us, because it means the speech teacher interacts with Kate NaNa more often than she would if Kate was just getting her 30 minutes a week required by law. I can see (and hear) the progress - I am with her so much that sometimes I would be oblivious if I didn't intentionally slow down and listen for it. But it is definitely there.

Cleft Issues:
At our last visit with the plastic surgeon (December?) he was very pleased with how much Kate's cleft had healed. The lip was repaired in China, and he did the palate in January 2009. There is still a good-sized hole in the gum line that won't be repaired until she is about seven years old. It is an impediment to some speech sounds, but mostly it just bothers her when she has a runny nose. (Guess where the snot goes.) She has totally conquered the straw, which I had worried would never happen. It turns out chocolate milk at school is a wonderful motivation.

Hearing/Ears:
She is on her third set of ear tubes. Hearing-wise, I noticed a couple of months ago that she wasn't hearing 100% (she has some very minor hearing loss, but this was something more), but I also knew that there was so much wax in those little ears that she couldn't hear a mac truck. The ENT cleaned out her ears at the last visit (which was very tear-filled), and I have seen some improvement, although I think it may be time for another visit to the audiologist. Amazingly, she only had one ear infection this winter. Her left tube fell out back in the fall, and the right ear got a little infected a few weeks ago, but I was able to treat it with some drops.

*Update 4/16/11 - She was diagnosed with an ear infection in the left ear today. Last night she spiked a fever, so that's how I figured out there was something going on. The doc said it was "bulging really bad." I have a feeling that she had it two weeks ago when we treated the right ear, but she doesn't feel any ear pain, so we didn't know the left ear was affected. I'm frustrated with myself for missing it.
Attachment/Adoption Issues:
Currently we are having no attachment issues. (Can I get an amen?) She has appropriate separation behaviors (she is ok with me dropping her somewhere and happy to see me come back), when something is wrong she comes to me for help, she has learned to trust me, etc. I think I am creating an environment where she feels comfortable talking about her story and asking questions.

For example, I talk to her about China and adoption, and I bring up her first mother and foster mom occasionally. She doesn't usually have a lot to say when I do, except to get really excited about China, but she has started figuring things out. And she asks questions, like, "Mama, when did Mimi go to China to adopt you?" which led to an explanation of birth and adoption. Another question she asked recently was, "Mama, how did you carry two boys in your tummy?" which of course led to an explanation of what twins are and how her brothers aren't twins and what happens when babies are born. (Thankfully she hasn't asked how babies get into tummies yet.) These are all normal questions for a four-year-old, so I am glad she feels good about asking them.

Sleep Issues:
I used to roll this over into adoption issues, and I suppose I still could, technically. But now the issues seem to be age-appropriate rather than clingy/needy/grief-filled behaviors. She now goes to sleep in her own bed without us in the room. This is huge, people. However, about 2am, she gets out of bed, creeps into our room, and crawls into her pallet. We find her there the next morning. Will used to do the same at this age, but he decided his bed was much better than a quilt on the floor. She would rather be near us, and that is ok. She told me a couple weeks ago that, "It's not fair, because Ben gets to sleep next to Will, and Daddy gets you, and I don't have nobody!"

Siblings:
Well, they are siblings. I probably wouldn't feel the need to even address it here, except for the fact that I still get asked if they get along or not. I don't know--do your kids get along every waking moment? They fight and make up and pick at each other and love each other stick up for each other and tattle and all of the things that all brothers and sisters do. Regardless, they just love each other fiercely.

She is bossy and sassy and shy and hilarious and cuddly, and she calls me out for being mean on a regular basis. Mostly I am just amazed at how resilient and brave and creative and amazing my Kate NaNa is. I am so thankful for you, baby girl!

A Family Prayer

I have never been much for celebrating Lent. Growing up, my family didn't celebrate. My church didn't even mention it. And I grew up pretty oblivious. Easter and Palm Sunday were big stinkin' deals, but Lent was not on my radar.

Last year, Tim followed a Lent calender that wasn't so much about giving stuff up as it was about doing for others and just stopping and paying attention to the season. This year he decided to create a family Lent calendar for our church. Everyday has a different activity for the family to do together. It has been a challenge, and I'm not gonna lie - we haven't done it everyday. Some days are easy, like participate in a hobby the children enjoy. Others are harder, like not using sarcasm for a day. (Ouch.)

One day the instructions were, "Write a prayer about how you would like to see your family grow." So the five of us sat down and took turns writing down our prayers for our family.

I am so thankful for my precious family.

What My Kids Do For Fun

Because I am a proud member of the Mean Mommy Club, I do try to limit the television intake of my kids. That is not to say that they don't ever watch. I just try to make sure it is off most of the day. Some days I succeed more than others. Because of this, my children have been forced to create their own entertainment. Sometimes this works out well. Sometimes not so well.

At the moment, there seem to be three really popular games around my house.

The first one cracks me up because it is being played by the two children who live here who can't spell very well. One of them can't even read. But they insist that Hang Man is a fun game, regardless of their spelling abilities (or lack thereof).

I apologize for the poor scan quality, but this paper has been folded up and carried around the house more times than any Hang Man game should be. Notice the fingers. I wonder if every wrong answer got a finger, or if one wrong answer got the whole hand.

The next game just drives me a bit insane, because it nevah evah ends. It is called, "Mommy, if Obi Wan, Yoda, and Kit Fisto were in a fight, and they had fifty clone troopers on their side, and they were fighting against thirty droids, plus General Grievous, who do you think would win? Huh? Mommy, are you paying attention? Do you want me to tell you again?" This game is played by all three of my children, and has as many variations as there are combinations of Star Wars characters.

This is just a few of the many sticker collections around my house. Usually when this game starts, Mommy asks if there is anything good on tv.

Next is my current favorite game. This year, my kids are obsessed with March Madness. They have kept up with the brackets, the schedules, the seedings, all of it. And true to form, they have created a whole new game, called UK versus UConn. Or UK versus West Virginia. Or UK versus North Carolina. Or... well, you get the idea. Basically the kids stand on the parquet floor and toss the ball into an imaginary hoop. When they do, they cheer for UK, and give themselves a tally mark.

This is the score sheet Will kept from the UK/Duke game. (It doesn't matter that UK and Duke didn't play each other this year. They have heard the legendary stories of THE game.) In their version, UK always wins. (Please don't actually count the tally marks. It's an exercise in futility to argue with my children.)

He's Got It!

Biking

Kate has been asking to "go biking" for months. And for months I have said, "Honey, it is just too cold for biking today." But today it was about 60 degrees out, and again, "Mama? Can we go biking?" (And every. single. time. she says it I am amazed at how perfectly she says it. Wow.) I asked if it was ok for us to wait until half-time (it is March Madness, after all), and then we went out.

She rides on a big trike, kind of like a Big Wheel. I've let her try out her brother's bike with training wheels, but frankly, it doesn't go fast enough for her. She can really move on her trike.

We went to a street in the back of our neighborhood where there are only a few houses and about three blocks of wide open street. Will and Ben also came along on their bikes. My brother Jacob started teaching Ben to ride without training wheels last spring, but then he went home, and honestly, I am a terrible teacher. And what with me working and Tim being gone most of the summer, Ben never really figured it out. But he was this close.

So today we practiced his riding. Within about two minutes he was off and riding by himself. He made great progress with his balance and steering. I was so pleased, because there is a strong possibility he has my sense of coordination, which is ridiculously lacking. I plan on teaching Will this spring/summer too, and I have the same fears with him.
At one point I was holding the back of Ben's seat and giving a little push, when Kate went flying by on her trike.

As she passed, she shouted, "See ya later, chumps!"
I have no idea where she gets this stuff.

What Was on My Camera

I lost my camera earlier this winter. Whenever this happens (thankfully it hasn't happened often) I always wonder what photos may have been lost forever. I knew it happened sometime between Christmas and our mid-January vacation, so that was only about 3 weeks. I couldn't remember if there were any major events, or if I had captured a Kodak moment.

Yesterday I was loading my computer into its bag, which I hadn't used in a couple of months, apparently. When I opened one of the pockets, I found the treasure and eagerly hit the "on" button to see what was on it. I had completely forgotten about our gingerbread men. This year at Christmas, Will discovered that he really likes gingerbread, so I bought some of the easy cookie dough mix, and one night in January we rolled and cut out little men and flowers. (Evidently my cookie cutters aren't very interesting.) It took them a couple of days to decorate and eat them all, but they had a ball doing it.

We had about 10 gingerbread pics, and then there were about 65 pictures that looked a little something like this:

I think we need to work on his photography skills, don't you? Most of them were either too blurry to figure out what they were, or they showed how filthy my house it. And he captured the cuteness of his toes, but his still life leaves something to be desired:)