A Boy?

The next question I tend to get regarding our adoption is this: You can adopt a boy from China? I thought they only had girls for adoption!

What was (sort of) true ten years ago, is simply a myth today. China's traditional adoption program, which is where potential adoptive parents used to request healthy, female infants, is pretty much a thing of the past. Some of the people who are currently waiting in that line have been there for more than five years. I'm not going to get into the "why's" with that - I have shifting opinions on that topic, and it isn't relevant to this post.

Anyway, a few months before we found out about Kate, we switched to their Waiting Child program, also known as their Special Needs or Special Focus program. For a long time before that we feared what we didn't know, but after listening to lots of stories (and reading lots of adoption blogs like NHBO), Tim and I realized that the SN program was definitely for us.

Now, don't assume we are some sort of heroes or saints. It was just one day I was reading blogs, and I saw one where the kid's special need was a birthmark on his forehead, exactly like the one Ben has. And I had this huge aha moment where I understood that special needs kids are really just kids. Yes, some of them go to the doctor more often than others, and some of them will need special help in other ways, but if you looked at the members of our family, all of us had some sort of "special need".

Aaaannnndddd, I'm off topic again. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Boys.

So, the kids in the special needs program have a wide variety of needs, but many of them are available for adoption largely because of their special need. And special needs don't discriminate based on gender. A parent who can't afford heart surgery for their daughter probably can't afford it for their son either.**

But about 75% of waiting parents only want to adopt a girl. And let's face it, most people don't even know you can adopt a boy from China because of above-discussed myth. But out of the over 1500 children on the Waiting Child list, about 75% are boys - infants to teens, minor needs to major needs. Lots and lots and lots of boys.

So, this time around when Tim and I decided to mark "either" under gender request, we realized that meant we would probably be bringing a boy home. And frankly, being the mama of two boys, I have to say that they are pretty stinking amazing little creatures. So the thought of one more boy in this house just makes me smile.

And that is how we are adopting a boy from China.

**If you are interested in learning more about how you can help parents in China not have to make the heart-breaking decision to abandon a child, check out LWB's Unity Fund. It funds surgeries for kids so that they can stay with their families. A beautiful thing!