The Annual Halloween Post

The boys designed the pumpkins this year, while their daddy did the carving.

Ben's is Yoda (note the ears)...And Will's has crooked buckteeth. (I'm trying really hard not to make a snarky tooth comment here.)Kate was completely disinterested, but was happy to pose for a photo.

For Halloween, we had a knight, Captain Rex, and Darth Vader, all of whom have acted like the sugared-up heathens that they are for the past several days..
While we were out, we also saw Michael Phelps (who thankfully had his shirt on, this time), Ms. Pac-Man, and Pinky.

Good times.

And what am I supposed to do with that?

So I haven't been keeping up with my daily Bible reading lately.

And when I say lately, I mean for the last 5 years or so. Basically since Will started walking, I can't seem to find five minutes to myself. That's not to say I never read my Bible, but it would be untruthful to say that I do well in this area. Usually it is more of a check-that-off-my-list kind of activity that I perform sporadically.

(I know, not very spiritual, but I'm trying to be real here.)

S0 I was taken by surprise last week when I was reading in Luke, and the text pretty much jumped up, grabbed me by the collar, and said, "Pay attention!"

Luke 11:39-42 (Bold-type added by me for emphasis): "Then the Lord said to him, 'Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? But now as for what is inside you—be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you.
'Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.' "

Did you hear that? I mean, how many times have I said to myself - I already tithe and sponsor children (ok, one child) and stuff like that. How much more do I have to give?

I have probably read this chapter dozens of times in my life, but I never heard what Jesus was saying right here. He is telling the Pharisees that even though they tithe, they are still missing the point because they aren't generous to the poor and they neglect justice and the love of God.

I think part of the reason I haven't noticed this passage before is because I have always thought of myself as just. To me, justice has always meant fairness. I try to be fair to everyone. But last week it dawned on me that fairness isn't what he is talking about here, because he specifically refers to the poor.

As I have posted before, I believe strongly in taking care of the poor, if for no other reason than I don't want to see children abandoned simply because of poverty. (Yes, I hate abandonment in all cases, but I am specifically talking about poverty right now.) But lately I have also been learning about organizations like International Justice Mission, which works to free modern-day slaves.

I mean, did you even know that there were modern-day slaves?

And then a few days ago, I came across this blog post, which I am pretty sure you don't even want to know about. (You don't have to click on the post, but you will probably not really understand what I am saying if you don't.) In fact, I am positive that you don't want to know. Because I mean, what are we supposed to do with that information? The answer is right there on the blog, and it is hard.

If justice is more than tithing and giving other money and being fair to people, then am I living a just life? I have such a cushy American life it's ridiculous. Even as I clip coupons and complain about my healthy children whining, how can I not be aware that in another place, there is a mom who has no food to buy, and children who can't cry because the dysentery has sucked the life out of them, and young girls who have been trafficked for sex.

When we think of all of the problems of the world, it seems incredibly overwhelming. But I don't think that verse got my attention because God wanted me to get bogged down in guilt. He got my attention because he wants me to act on the things that I am capable of acting on. Even the things that are incredibly hard.

So what am I going to do? What changes will I make in my life? I honestly don't know. But I have always tried to be real here, so I am giving it my best. I have been writing this post for several days now, but I haven't been able to finish it. I wanted to tie it up with a nice pretty bow, but I don't have one. I am still a non-committal, selfish, tither who is fair to others and occasionally donates money to good causes. And what am I supposed to do with that? What does God want me to do with that?

Happy Birthday, Kate NaNa!

For a week and a half in October, we have what seems like a 10 day Kate-fest, because ten days after we met her, she turned 2.

Which also means that it has been 10 days since my last post. So much for keeping up with things here...

So, first, pictures from our NaNa day celebration, which we actually celebrated a day late.

We went out for Chinese food, and gave Kate her gift from China. This year it was a Chinese drum.

Doesn't that smile just steal your heart?

Moving right along...

Today the fam came over for the backyard birthday bash. Which was partially held inside because it was too windy for candles.Two of her cousins, Bri and Danielle, were able to come this year, which made it even better.

And then the grandparents took the kids to the pumpkin farm, and I got a moment to myself. How 'bout that?

I'm still a little giddy from the chocolate and quiet.

Happy Kate NaNa Day!

Today is the two year anniversary of the day I first met my daughter. She is now so completely a mama's girl, that it is hard to imagine that she ever pushed me away. But in those first few days, she was grieving hard, and when she cried for Mama, I was not the mama she wanted.

You can see Tim's post (with video of our first meeting and later bonding over chocolate) of that first day together here. And you can see my version of it all here. (If you want to read about the whole trip, you can pull up October 2008 from the archives on the sidebar.)

Kate NaNa, you are the most wonderful, resilient, amazing, strong, beautiful daughter in the world. I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you to the moon and back.

Honk!

This past weekend was extremely busy with soccer games, a local festival, church, and four performances of Honk!, (a musical based on the Ugly Duckling). Ben was a frog, a fish, and a "snow spirit" (which was basically a glorified snowflake). Tim played the part of the rooster, Father Swan, and a half dozen off-stage sound effects.

My rooster and fish

Father Swan

Finger-poppin' Hippie Frog

Both of them performed well, and had a whole lot of fun. And now, maybe some normalcy might start to return to my house? Eh, probably not. Ben is still singing the songs and telling the jokes from the play. But that is pretty normal for us.

Poker Face

One of the kids I babysit is O. She is two years old and one of Kate's best buddies. She is an independent little firecracker, and I am constantly left laughing or rolling my eyes.

Her mom is a good friend of mine, and she is a huge Glee fan. (For the uninitiated Glee is a tv show about a high school choir with lots of angst, and they often break into song and dance.) She often listens to the sound track, and so O knows a lot of the songs. One of her favorites is a song called "Poker Face".

Last week, O comes in the room and says, "Hey, Kate! Let's do 'Poker Face'! Come on! Poker Face!" And she starts to sing a tune that I can only assume sounds like "Poker Face" to her, repeating Poker Face over and over.

Kate, who has never heard that song before (at least to my knowledge), gets a look of panic on her face, covers her eyes, and screams, "NO! Don't poke my face! Don't poke my face!"

They had this exact same conversation all day long.

At some point, I should've pulled Kate aside and explained to her what O was talking about, but honestly, I was laughing way too hard.

How did we get here?

Seriously. We have been having that kind of month. I mean season. (Please don't tell me it's that kind of year.) The kind where you find yourself over-extended, exhausted, and de-centered. That's me and my family right now.

You see, Tim and I pretty much see eye-to-eye on this kind of stuff. Priorities are: family, church, and school. That means dinner together at night, church activities, and homework. If the soccer/play/music lesson/birthday party/play date/committee/extra job conflicts with one of the above, we usually say no. We have gotten pretty good at finding that balance for our family.

Until now.

Last summer, I asked Ben if he wanted to play soccer. He really enjoys it, but he has aged out of our regular league (apparently 8 is soooo old), so we asked him if he was interested in this other league in town. He really wanted to play, so we signed up in June, so that he could play fall soccer. (Don't ask me why they need two months notice. That is a whole 'nother rant.) And then we forgot about it.

Fast forward to August, and Tim is trying out for community theater. When we lived in our previous town, he was in several plays, but the ones here always seem to conflict with our schedules (see above priorities), so he hasn't done it. On a whim, he asked Ben if he wanted to go and try out too. I saw no problem with that, and off they went.

But the problem was that all three of us forgot about soccer. Blame it on school starting back or the book or whatever, but we forgot. They both ended up getting multiple parts in Honk!, which means that they both have several practices a week. They are enjoying spending time together, but it is a large commitment.

Because it is the way things work, almost every single soccer practice or game in September conflicts with a Honk rehearsal. The play ends this weekend, and then we will start in again with the soccer. Along with that, we still have our jobs, piano practice, doctor appointments, and did I mention that Will is playing Y soccer?

I'll admit it, it was a whole lot worse two weeks ago when I was still working on the book. And at least Kate isn't involved in any extra-curriculars yet (not that she isn't dying to - she really wants to do gymnastics this winter).

But, in my defense, Ben originally refused to sing in the play, which meant he wouldn't get a part, which was fine with me. Also in my defense, when I called to sign Ben up for soccer, the lady told me there was one practice and one game per week. This is not in any way, shape, or form, true. We are supposed to be there at least three times per week for one or the other. We were also told there would be no Sunday/Wednesday games. Not true. And I didn't even think to ask if there would be out-of-town games (he is 8 for Pete's sake!). There are. So, the frustration is not entirely of my own making.

But enough of it is. And Ben is grumpy. This is a kid who requires about 11 hours of sleep a day, plus 2-3 hours of down time. (He would like nothing better than to play with his brother and sister all day long. He is a homebody like his mama and daddy.) He is definitely not getting that right now. We agreed that from now on, we really need to choose between activities. He was totally in agreement, but I have no idea which one he will choose in the spring. I just know that after October, we are taking some much needed time off!

I know some of you won't believe me, but we are not "keeping up with the Jones" kind of people. You hear about my schedule when I am stressed, but that is not our happy norm. We consider a good weekend one in which we have nothing planned, and we play in the backyard and read on the couch. We hate the stress of schedules and fees and practices. When we are tied up in that, we forget how much we actually like being together because we are rushing around all the time. We enjoy living at a slower pace than everyone around us. We do it intentionally. And now we are being reminded why we are that way.

Sometimes we joke that we are going to quit everything and move to Hawaii. But I hear that if we did that the joke would be on us. One of my dearest friends lives there, and we have talked weekly about how the stress of kindergarten and preschool and swimming lessons and dance and jobs and.... Well, it's killing them too. She is convinced that city life is the problem, but I say we have to intentionally learn to say no. Say, not right now. An eight-year-old doesn't need a 12-game soccer season. A three year-old doesn't need to drive 1/2 an hour one way for gymnastics.

We need to just be. Be a family. Be together. Be with God. And breathe.