A Quick Update

I don't have long before the munchkins find me huddled upstairs over my laptop, but I wanted to post a quick update. First, we are fine. We have power, plenty of food, and the roads are pretty clear today.

Second, Kate's recovery is going as expected. In other words, she is hungry and mad that we won't give her any food. She is living on chocolate ice cream, milk, water, and antibiotics. We have offered her juice, chicken broth, beef broth, pediasure, pedialyte, and evey other liquid we can think of, but she isn't interested. We are now on Day 4 of our "hiding food from Kate" adventure. We are trying not to eat around her, which is making life interesting. Hopefully, the next few days will pass quickly.

The munchkins have found me, so I gotta go!

Surgery Day

Kate, just before surgery

With all of the snow and ice coming down, it should be a great day to stay at home, cuddled up on the couch, right? Well, not us. Evidently the good Lord decided that it was a fine time to be out on the road, driving to the hospital. Kate's surgery was scheduled for today, so we were out in this mess by about 4:45am to get to the hospital by 6am. We got here in about an hour, but the surgery was a little delayed, presumably by a doc who was delayed by the weather.

The surgery went well. It took about an hour and half or so before we were called into the recovery room. When we got there, she had been awake about 2 minutes, and boy, was she mad! I don't think she was in pain, but she was mad at everybody and scared. She would tense up whenever someone came near to check the IV or hear her heartbeat. She has slept through most of the day, waking only occasionally for medicine and some milk to drink. About 3:30 she woke up to a few visitors and wanted to play with her tea set and her new stuffed animals. Now she is watching an Elmo video about babies and dogs.

Thanks to all who lifted her (and us) up in prayer. Please continue to pray for her recovery. We think she may have already done some damage to the stitches in her lip by chewing on them - uh-oh. I will hopefully update again soon. Blessings!

Chinese New Year

Even though we were in the Chinese adoption process for years, I am new to the whole Chinese New Year celebration. I know, I know, I could've used all that time to prepare for her actually being here, but I will probably always be a procrastinator. Deal with it.

Anyway, my friend Tara, being more prepared than I, let us tag along with their family for a Chinese New Year celebration at their public library. It was really a lot of fun, with performances mostly by local children and teens. There were lion dances, musical performances, dancing, etc. Kate and the boys had a ball for the first 20 minutes or so. Kate danced in my lap, mimicking the children on stage. She clapped and smiled like she had never had so much fun. The next 20 minutes, she tolerated being held in my lap, but was distracted by the people around us. Then, it was all over. For the rest of the show she was putting her hat on, looking for her coat, trying to get the boys to put their coats on. It was a bit long for a 2 year old I guess. Oh well.

We then went to a local Chinese restaurant for a yummy dinner together. It was so good to go out with Tara and John and their Will. Ben sat with John and they had a serious talk about all of the movies they have seen and how many times they have seen them. Kate ate and ate, repeatedly asking for chicken, milk, and ice... some of her favorite things:) Will was just concerned with whether or not he had eaten enough food for me to allow him to have dessert.

Naturally, I forgot my camera, or I would gladly show you how much fun we had - Tara, did you take any???

Anyway, I would love to learn more about CNY for the future and celebrate with the whole family. CNY lasts for days (no, I don't actually know how many), so I am thinking that there is plenty of time to celebrate with friends and family, kind of like we spread out Christmas for weeks. I don't want to make it into a huge deal - I am really not into the whole good luck/bad luck or Chinese Zodiac thing. But it is fun to get together with loved ones, it is fun to eat, and it is fun to learn about China. Therefore, it sounds like a good idea to me. So, loved ones, be thinking about next year. If all else fails, we can always go to P.F. Changs :)

Ben and Barack

I am a self-professing social studies geek, so during the inauguration I felt the need to impress upon my children the importance of the day. I wanted them to marvel at the peaceful transfer of power, to question why our president isn't elected by a direct democracy but by our weird electoral college, and to understand the magnitude of the job of defending our country, protecting our Constitution, etc, etc. But alas, my children are 2, 4, and 6. Personally, I think they are brilliant, but they are still 2, 4, and 6.

So I decided that I would try to impress on Ben and Will the significance of Barack Obama. Not the political significance, but the historical significance. I started to explain to them how in our country's past people didn't treat African-Americans very nicely, how they weren't allowed to eat in restaurants or vote in elections. To this, Ben said, "But I thought we aren't supposed to treat others differently because of their skin." Exactly, Ben, but sometimes people don't do what they are supposed to do. I told them that since Obama was elected to be our president, it showed how far our country has come in treating people more fairly. I talked about judging people not by the color of their skin, "but by the content of their character". Ben, who never looked up from his transformers during this exchange, then said (in a flat tone and with complete boredom in his voice), "How comforting." I think he got the point, but let's face it, transformers are more fun than history to him. So much for my civics lesson. Oh, well:)

So I've been gone for awhile

And I am sorry for that. Not just because I use this to update my distant family and friends (hi Jacob and Alison:), but also because I have missed reading all of my bloggy friends' updates (some of you have been busy:). Anyway, last Monday night I got the call that my grandfather had taken a turn for the worse. He had been in the hospital for awhile, but everyone kept thinking that he would recover soon. But things don't always turn out like we think they will.

So I got on an airplane that night and flew down to be with my grandparents, dad, and aunt. There is much to tell about my journey, but the important part is that on Wednesday afternoon Poppie went on to be with the Lord. I am thankful for that last time to say "I love you" to him, but I am even more thankful that I have gotten to tell him that I loved him a million times in the last 30+ years. (So go tell your family you love them, ok?) He will be missed by all of us, and I am having a hard time just typing this without crying about it.

The next day, we loaded up in the van and drove for two days to get back home. We would cry a bit, then tell funny stories about Poppie and laugh, then cry some more. Today was the funeral, and I had the honor of giving the eulogy. I talked about about how much he loved to fuss at us all. And about his love for food (especially sweets), his "useless" Wildcats, and antique dealing. But he loved his family even more. He loved my grandmother so much that you could still see it in his face after 62 years. He was proud of each of his children and who they have become. And he adored his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I adored him right back. He has always been one of my favorite people on the planet. So of course I cried the entire time I was talking. I also read some memories that my brother sent to me (thank you!).

I have spent the last week crying, moping, distracting myself with busyness, eating twice as much as usual, and telling stories. But I have also gotten to spend a lot of time with my extended family, which has been wonderful.

I know most of you don't know my grandfather (some of you don't even know me, for Pete's sake:). But I hope that you don't feel like you need to be sad for me. I had the great honor and privilege of having a wonderful grandfather, who is now in the arms of Jesus. And that is a blessing, my friends.

Upcoming surgery scheduled

Kate's surgery has finally been scheduled for January 28th. As I type that, I get both scared and excited all at the same time. In less than three weeks, my baby will be put to sleep, her palate will be repaired, and her appearance will be altered (although only slightly). I am having trouble even verbalizing my feelings on this, so forgive me if I sound incoherent.

On the one hand, this surgery (along with her speech therapy) will hopefully repair her palate to such a degree that she will be able to make MAJOR progress in her speech. She will get ear tubes, so hopefully we will spend MUCH less time in doctors' offices and at pharmacies and taking antibiotics before bedtime. Which is all good stuff. It is what we have been hoping for.

On the other hand, it is surgery! On a two year old, whom I adore. So it makes me frightened for her. I also know that she is going to be miserable for quite some time. Yes, she will have some pain, although we hope that can be controlled and minimized. But she also will have her diet completely altered for awhile. She will spend 10 days on a liquid only diet, and then move to a soft diet before being allowed to return to normal food. Bless her heart, she loves to eat! I am not at all sure how we are going to deal with this, especially considering the fact that I have two small boys who also love to eat. I mean, seriously, Ben and Will aren't going on a liquid diet, which means I am likely to have an angry little girl on my hands. And boy can she give the dirty looks. I have a feeling that Ben and Will are going to get lots of fast food with their Daddy in the coming month. So at least the three of them will be happy:)

But there is also the issue of her lip. Originally the doctor had planned on leaving it alone until she is older. At her last visit he looked at it and decided that he would do a minor revision on the bottom of her top lip, where there is just a bit of extra skin. It isn't really noticeable, but it is probably the most noticeable part other than the tooth in front. I know that it will only be a minor repair, but I think that she is so beautiful. My boys are fond of calling her "the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen!" Will often adds, "She is so pwetty, I want to mawwy huh!" (I used to be the girl he wanted to mawwy. Go figure.) So I hate the idea of changing her appearance at all, even if it is to make her lip more "normal", whatever that is. I actually have a weird little extra skin thingy on my upper lip. I was pretty self-conscious of it as a kid, but I barely think of it now. But I am trying to think long term on this one, and I agree with the doctor in my head, even if my heart is torn.

In other words, I have a lot of conflicting emotions, which is pretty normal for me:) There is good and bad to be had wherever I look.

As for the prayer requests, we ask God to work through the doctors (who we think are great), provide us with other doctors, nurses, and technical staff who will be a blessing to Kate and excel at their jobs. We pray that she stays healthy until the surgery (the doc says that if she has a hint of a sniffle, the surgery will be postponed). We pray that she will be healthy and heal properly after the surgery. We ask God to give all of us patience as we deal with Kate's diet in the coming months. Especially Kate. She will need some grace to get through this.

Adoption articles and websites

I am a member of several online adoption communities, and often stuff floats past my screen. Some of it I read and want to remember, some of it is crap. Some of it I want to share with others. Recently I came across a couple of things that I thought were worth sharing with those of you in the adoption world (or those of you who are considering jumping in to the adoption world). If you have no interest in them or have seen them before, please forgive me and move along to your next blog:)

First, there is a new website called No Hands but Ours. It is meant to educate prospective adoptive parents about Special Needs and to advocate for children from China. If you are interested, hop over and check them out.

Second, I came across an article that was posted on RQ last night and thought it was worth sharing with other adoptive parents. It addresses not only attachment issues, but also post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and sensory integration issues that can arise as a result of abandonment and institutionalization. I have read stuff like this before, but the author, Heidi Holman, does a great job of addressing it with concrete examples. It is lengthy, but worth the time.