I used to be a good mother

I usually try very hard not to talk negatively about my children here for several reasons. First, I love them. They are wonderful, precious children. So on those days when they are driving me crazy, I have to remember that my blog only gives you a small glimpse into my life, and I don't want that glimpse to tell you that my children are horrid creatures that will need therapy and/or boot camp someday. Second, I do have some pride. I don't want you to think that I am crazy or a bad mom. Although sometimes I am either/both of those things.

But today I have decided to be vulnerable. Sometimes I feel like a lousy mom. Now, you need to know that my own mother repeatedly tells me that I am an amazing mother. (In fact, I am sure that she is dialing the phone right now to tell me this.) But as my mom, it is her sacred duty to build me up rather than tear me down, so I don't always believe her. (Put the phone down, Mom!)

Sometimes I have to ask myself, where did I go wrong? I firmly believe that it began with potty training. I always thought that I was a good mom until I attempted to potty train my Benjamin. He was always such a sweet boy. He didn't go through the terrible two's like other children. He obeyed his mommy, gave out tons of hugs and kisses, and was smart as a tack. His infant brother William was also the picture of perfection. He was a very happy baby. Even when he broke his arm and had 2nd degree burns (long story), he hardly ever complained. So, I figured I must be a wonderful mother, right? My perfect children charmed everyone they met, and then those people told me what a wonderful mother I was, so it must be true, right?

Then, we started potty training. That is really where everything changed. Let's just start with the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. I thought my natural parenting skills were just going to lead the way, and Ben would just learn by absorbing my positive attitude. I also got it into my head that it would only take a day or two. (I blame Dr. Phil for that one.) Anyway, short story long, it took much longer than it should have. And from that experience, Ben made a very important discovery. Benjamin discovered that he could actually disobey mommy. Mommy said, "Time to go potty." He said, "Ummm, no. I would rather pee right here." A new monster was born. And then he taught his brother, who took this new discovery to the next level. The boys are now in the process of teaching Kate how to disobey too. Thankfully I can still get her attention with a firm, "Kate."

Now, I don't think that my children are any more monstrous or horrid than the average kids. There is no such thing as perfect kids. But I have to say, that sometimes they drive me insane. (See, maybe I have good reason to be crazy...) For example, why is it that they eat as if they learned their table manners from Cookie Monster? Why must they pick their noses in public, and then eat their discoveries? Why do they use their shirts as napkins? And why, oh why, do I have to say their full names 3 times to get their attention?

But of all of these things, the thing that drives me over the edge is dinner time behavior. I have heard other mothers refer to the hour between 6 and 7 pm as the "witching hour", and I have to nod my head at that one. It's like they are other people. And I'm not just talking bad manners (BTW, their manners are atrocious - see above). I am talking about the hitting and kicking and pinching. I am talking about the crying if the food isn't exactly what they want. I am talking about hanging upside down in their chair, and then falling out of the chair.

My family tells me it is all MY fault. They say that this is pretty much how I behaved at dinner time. Plus I spilled my milk. Every meal. (No comments, Nan.)

I'm not admitting to anything. At least not in writing.

Kate NaNa

There isn't a whole lot of big news to report on the Kate front, but at the same time, she seems to change and grow every day. She is nearly as big as Will, and she thinks she is 5 like he is. She can now mostly get dressed and undressed by herself, including her socks and shoes. Part of the motivation for this is that we have been potty training. I tried back in May/June, and she had a couple of days without accidents, but then one day I asked her if she needed to potty, she shouted, "NO!", and then proceeded to pee on the floor. (My mother says it is payback.) I decided to take a step back, her being 2 1/2 and all.

She has worn pull-ups, and consistently gone potty about 2-3 times a day since then. Recently I sensed that maybe we were ready to try again. She has done beautifully this time around. In the past week, she has only had 3 accidents, and honestly, two of those times weren't even her fault. We are very proud of our big girl. She is very proud of her big girl panties that we bought on our girls only trip to Target:) (As I type this, I am hoping that I am not jinxing this by declaring that she is potty-trained. Lord, help us if I am wrong.)

The other fun news is on the speech front. She continues to make progress every week, and in the past month or so, friends and family have begun understanding her more. Her favorite topics of conversation are still Di's houseboat and Hot Dog House. She has also been telling people that she went to the circus, where her favorite thing was the popcorn. Yesterday I was telling the kids the stories of their names (where they came from, etc.). I said, "Katherine Xuna has a very special name." She replied, "Yes, my name NaNa." And then she started telling me something about a peanut butter sandwich, and I got lost:)

She continues to amaze me and be a complete joy. We are very blessed!

Will-isms....again

***Now updated with photos:)
Last Saturday, my mom took the kids and me to the circus. The kids all had a good time, and I enjoyed what I saw, but I spent most of the show running back and forth to the bathroom with various small people. Anyway, through the whole show Will kept saying, "I wanna weave the woom!" (I want to leave the room, for those of you not schooled in Will-speak.) He said it over and over. I asked, Do you want to go to the bathroom? Get something to eat? Play with the cheapo toys they are trying to sell? No, no, and no. He didn't want any of those things. He wanted milk. At the circus. Umm, they don't sell that there. They sell $12 bags of cotton candy, but no milk. (Don't worry though, when the trapeze artists came out, he got over his milk obsession. He loved them.)

At the end, the Ring Master thanked us for coming to the Greatest Show on Earth. (You know the one:) Will turns to me and says, "You know, that was a really great circus show, but I don't think it was the greatest show ever." So true.

This morning, I was fixing the kids waffles, when Will launches into a temper tantrum because apparently I am not Mimi, and the butter had melted before he ate it, or something like that. I didn't really understand it myself. I wasn't very nice, and I started getting rather sarcastic. When I would throw out one of my sarcastic comments, he would look at me funny and say, "That's not true!" I would say, You are right, Will. That was sarcasm. Sarcasm is when you say one thing, but you mean the exact opposite.

Later tonight, his Daddy made a similar comment during dinner. Will looked at me and said, "That was a sarcasm. People around here have a lot of sarcasms today."

Oh, and did I mention that today Will knocked out another of Ben's teeth? (This already happened once over Memorial Day. I am not sure what he might try for Thanksgiving.) They were wrestling and out it came. Oops. It was already loose, and Ben is probably relieved that his mommy isn't going to have to pull it now.

While Ben was rinsing his mouth out, I gave Will a little pat on the rear end. Not a spanking, just a "you little squirt" kind of pat. He didn't see it coming and went, "Whoo! You scared the chickens out of me!" I got over the tooth thing pretty fast, because that has made me laugh all stinkin' day.

T-Ball

Yes, I am aware that it is Autumn, not Spring, but I am just now getting around to posting T-ball photos. Ben and Will ended up playing two seasons of ball through the YMCA. They had a great time, unless of course they were tired, or hot, or thirsty, or just plain cranky.

Will's favorite part was running the bases. He just loves to run. Ben didn't have one thing he liked the best, but I think hitting was pretty high on his list.

Kate, on the other hand, was too young to play. She spent most games either trying on helmets, throwing balls onto the field, or just pouting because we made her sit with us.

Will's Big Day

I'm sorry for my long absence, but my computer has been out of commission. The problem has now been resolved (mostly-I think I have permanently lost some photos, a file I was working on, and my checkbook balance-anybody know a computer geek that can help me?), so I am back!

Anyhoo, we celebrated Will's 5th birthday with a party on Saturday. We once again had the traditional backyard party with the kiddie pool. For some reason, my kids never get tired of this. And who am I to complain? It is pretty much the cheapest party a mommy could throw. Burgers, dogs, fruit salad, cake and ice cream, plus all the family and friends we can cram into a house. This year, Ben decided to make presents for Will. He made a bird out of a seashell and paper, and he made a chain of green paper. Will liked his gifts, and I thought it was very sweet.

All in all, it was a great day. Will told me it was the best party anybody ever had. He sure knows how to melt a mommy's heart:)

The First Day of Pre-K

Will is very fond of saying that he isn't in preschool, he is in Pre-K. When you are newly turned 5, the distinction is important. He is attending the same school he did last year, and will have the same teachers and classmates, except now he will go 3 mornings a week. He loves school, and we are excited about starting a new year. I am proud of this guy!

The annual Daddy and Will First Day of School Breakfast..Going into his classroom...

Ben's First Day of First Grade

Today was the day we have all (at least in my household) been waiting for. The day our first baby went to all-day, every-day school. First grade. Serious business. Ben has been very excited, but naturally, I have had mixed feelings. Yes, he loves school, so I am excited that he will learn so many new things. I am also excited about his teacher this year, who everyone tells me will be a perfect fit for my structured little boy. On the other hand, it saddens me that we can't go on vacation at the drop of a hat (although we never actually did that:) or go to see the grandparents in the middle of the week (which we did).

But I have to say, after the past two weeks, with all three of my children driving each other insane with their pestering, I was beyond ready to send him off to school. I love him, but if he hit his brother one more time (or vice-versa), I was going to scream.

On Friday, we went to Open House to see his classroom and meet the teacher. Ben's only question for his teacher was, "Where is all of your stuff?" Mrs. H and I were a bit confused by this. On the way home, I realized what he meant. His Kindergarten classroom was full of toys. Let's just say that 1st grade is a little bit different. I explained this to him, putting the teacher spin on it about how he might have to work harder, but this meant there would be more time to learn cool stuff like geography and math and reading books (yes, I know I am a dork). He seemed ok with it. We shall see.

Anyway, the first day was a success. He got to sit with some buddies from last year that are in his class again for lunch. He told me all about how important numbers are to everyday life (which apparently they discussed in math today), and he rode the bus home from school. He even was eager to do his homework. He said his favorite part was recess. I am thankful that he is enjoying school.

The annual Daddy and Ben First Day of School Breakfast...

Going in his classroom...

PS: In case you missed my last post, I am still having computer issues, so don't be surprised if I go missing again soon...