Kate's Big Night Out

Strangely, I find myself alone tonight... shocking, I know. Tim was taking the boys down to Mimi's to drop them off for a few days, and Kate kept saying, "Go Mimi's?" over and over again. I kept saying, "No, honey, Mommy and NaNa are staying here. The boys are going to Mimi's." Not the answer she wanted to hear. When I explained to her that if she went to Mimi's, Mommy and Daddy would not be there to put her to bed at night, she decided she didn't really want to go after all.

That lasted about 5 minutes, and then she changed her mind. (A girl always reserves the right to change her mind, after all.) I explained the situation once again, and she said she understood, and she repeated it back to me, in ASL and with words. I said, "I won't be there, so you can't sleep with Mommy." She said, "Sleep Arlie's bed." Hmmm, I'm not sure that Arlie will be thrilled at the prospect of getting kicked out of his bed by a 2 year old.

I called Mimi to explain the situation to her, and of course she was willing to give it a try. (Such a brave, Mimi.) I told her that if tonight is a complete disaster, I will come get her...first thing in the morning:)

In other news, I seem to be surrounded by terrible, horrible news. Not for myself, really, but for some people I know, and for many people that I don't know. Death, sickness, kidnappings, newly united adoptive families being separated by bureaucracy... all kinds of heart wrenching things. And so I find myself crying over my computer and crying out to God. It's probably a good thing that I'm alone tonight. I'm not trying to depress you, but just share what is on my heart.

Last, my laptop is having issues again. Hopefully they will be resolved soon, but until then, I will be largely MIA.

Musical Beds

Normally my kids are great sleepers. If they weren't, I would be a lot more grouchy than I already am. However, they occasionally play musical beds. It goes something like this-

First, everyone starts out in their own beds, and everyone is happy. About 1 am one of the children (last night it was Kate), wakes up upset and can't get back to sleep. Again, usually they go right back to sleep, but sometimes it just isn't happening. Last night Kate was very upset, and I stayed with her for over an hour. Naturally, I dozed off hanging off the bed, and I woke up with a crick in my neck. At that point, she was still awake, and I was sore, so I took her to my bed where she slept on top of me for another hour or so.

I finally got her rolled off of me and fell asleep myself, when Will comes in the room to tell me he's had a nightmare. Could he get in bed with us? If I had been more conscious, I would've taken him back to his room, but I just scooted over and let him in. It only took a matter of minutes to figure out that four people in a double bed was not going to work.

So I got up and went to Will's bed. It really is the most comfortable one in the whole house, so I was glad it was a nightmare, rather than an accident, that had woken him up. I was just dozing off, when I feel someone standing over me. I refused to open my eyes, but I heard, "Get outta my spot." Grrrrr.

Fine, I will go back to my own bed. I go in to find Kate sprawled out on my side. Reverse, go to Kate's room. Fall back to sleep around 4:00 or so. Thankfully that was the end of the game until 8:00, when it briefly started again.

I should be thankful. There have been nights when all five of us are involved, and no one wakes up in the right bed. Sometimes the kids end up in our bed, and we end up in theirs. Oh well, this too shall pass. But for now I just want a nap. By myself, preferably.

Summer Lovin'

There are so many things that I love about summer time. I love the heat, the lazy days, the thunderstorms (is it me, or are they bigger in the summer?), and the late sunsets. But I think my favorite part of summer is the food. I love all of the fresh fruits and veggies that are everywhere. I hardly ever use a canned or frozen food in the summer because everything is so plentiful and yummy. And you know there are foods you only eat in the summer, because they just taste better.

Recently I was craving one of those foods. Blackberry Cobbler. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid, there were blackberry bushes across from our house, and we would go out and eat the yummy things until we were sick. Then Mom would make a cobbler with the ones we didn't eat. Mmmm. When we lived in Versailles, I had a good friend who showed me the easiest cobbler recipe in the world. Beware, the sugar content alone will send you over the edge, but it is sooo, so good. And totally worth the calories. I mean, it's not like I eat this stuff year round, right?

Janet's Blackberry Cobbler
3/4 stick of butter
1c self-rising flour (or if you are like me and only keep all-purpose, add 3 1/2 tsp baking powder & 1/2 tsp salt to all-purpose flour)
1c sugar + 3/4 c sugar
3/4c milk
1-2c berries

Melt butter in the bottom of a medium baking pan. In a bowl, mix 1c flour, 1c sugar, gradually adding 3/4c milk. Pour into melted butter. Add berries. Pour 3/4c sugar over top. Do not stir. Bake @ 350 for 45 minutes.

Best served warm with vanilla ice cream...yum.

My Sweet Girl

My relationship with Kate NaNa has definitely been a process. It's been over a year now since I first saw her face. At the time, I just knew she was my daughter. I loved her even then, in the way that you just know you are going love someone, even though you don't know them very well yet, or even why you will love them. But little by little, bit by bit, our relationship has grown.

When we met, my love grew to a protective, mama bear kind of love. She really did not like me at first. I wanted her to feel safe, to feel love, to smile. Fearful of scaring her, I took my time getting to know her. I would sit near her until she burst into tears at the realization I was there. It was a dance of sorts. I would take two steps forward, one step back, until finally she allowed me to hold her, comfort her, love her. Even then, she still held me at arm's length, only giving affection on her terms.

Once home, she realized I was the one who would meet her daily needs. I fed her, put her to bed, and held her when she cried, even when she pushed me away. My love for her grew to a you are my child, and I can't believe how much I love you kind of love.
As time went by, her personality emerged. We began to see how funny she is, how much she was dying to talk to us and express herself, and how much she loves music. And I began to love her for who she is. I was getting to know her better and better, just like I know my boys. Naturally, at this point I was beyond in love with her. I no longer had to hold back my hugs and kisses, but often when I touched her she would pull back just a little, hold off just a bit.
Today I laid down to nap with her, and she was especially huggy. She wanted to hold my hand, and she kept rubbing my arm. After she dozed off, she kept scooting closer and closer, even though she was asleep. She is beginning to react to me in ways that are similar to the ways that my boys respond. We have come such a long way.

Some of you are probably shocked that it has taken so long to get here. But the reality is that it often takes a long time for adopted kids to learn to trust someone. We have tried very hard not to get anxious about it all, giving it over to God in prayer. Giving her to God. We have asked Him to help us know how to respond to her. I'm sure we haven't gotten everything right, but she is such an amazing, resilient, brave little girl. Loving a child -any child- takes a lot of time and consistency, but it is so worth it.

Eulogy for a Gourd

So, how sick are you of hearing about my garden?

My garden on Tuesday...

My garden on Saturday...Notice something is missing?
As you all know, I have really enjoyed my garden this year. We have had TONS of yellow squash and zucchini, among the tomatoes, peppers, etc. About 3 weeks ago my friend Blair was over for a visit, and I wanted to show her my garden. I don't know how impressed she was, but she commented that I had white spots on my pumpkin and zucchini leaves that looked similar to the spots on her boyfriend's zucchini plant. She wasn't sure what it was, and I didn't think much more about it. After all, I was still getting tons of zucchini, right? I didn't even pay much attention when the same spots showed up on my yellow squash.

Fast forward to yesterday evening. I went out to do my daily tomato pickin', when I notice that the squash is about 1/4 the size that it usually is. Had an animal gotten into the fence? I didn't see any digging, and none of the other plants seemed to be chewed on. Plus there were no bite marks on the leaves. Most of the leaves were wilted and lying on the ground, while the ones still standing were covered in those same white spots. Uh-oh. I quickly snapped a few pictures and ran inside to post them on Facebook. I know most people get on FB to socialize, but I use it as a siren for my gardening emergencies. All summer long I have posted questions and/or problems and gotten results. In fact, Blair's mom, Kim, is my gardening hero, and gives me awesome advice.

Anyway, within a few hours, I had several suggestions as to my problem. As usual, Kim nailed it. Apparently I have powdery mildew. Lovely. The cure? Pull up the affected plants and spray the rest. The problem is that by the time I went out there this morning, all of them had it. The zucchini and pumpkins looked like the squash did yesterday. So sad.

So I set in to cutting. I felt like a surgeon out there, determining which stalks/vines were diseased, and cutting off the afflicted parts. After much work and sadness, I was left with very little healthy plants. And I am not convinced that these will survive. I may have picked my last squash for the season. So, so sad.

Sad zucchini...

Sad pumpkin...

Sad squash...

Of course, the whole time I am working, my mind is too. I began to see spiritual parallels between my garden and my life. Maybe I will share more in another post (this one is already rather lengthy). We shall see.

I am rather depressed about my gardening failure, and upset that I didn't do something sooner. Oh well, I shall try to live and learn. Now I know what powdery mildew looks like.

Looking on the bright side, maybe now there is a chance that the carrots, romas, and watermelon will actually see the sunlight if the squash isn't choking them out. Ahhh, so much to learn...

And so much carnage!!!

Kate's Prayer

Have I mentioned that Kate LOVED Di and Jimmy's houseboat? We saw them the other day and she kept trying to talk Di into taking her back. All she has talked about since then is the "boat house". Tonight her prayer went as follows:

Mama: Dear God, thank you for....

Kate: Ummm, Mimi, Wa Wa (Will), bevy soo (bathing suit)

Mama: Bathing suit?

Kate: MY bevy soo. Ummm, Di, Muh (Ben), Muh's bevy soo, Mommy, boat house, Osie (Rosie, her friend from the houseboat), Wa Wa (She always prays for him at least twice), Da.

I was trying so hard not to laugh that I had my head buried in my arm. I was so thankful when "Amay" (Amen) came along so I could change the subject. Then, after we had hugged and kissed and turned out the light, she was still over there talking to herself about boat houses and bevy soos. Di, what kind of monster have you created!

More Will

Yesterday while getting ready for church, Will again chose to wear his Hawaiian shirt and leather sandals. He told me, "Mommy, I am going to always wear these shoes to church because I think that's what Jesus would wear." I didn't ask him if Jesus would also wear the Hawaiian shirt. Personally, I think he would;)